bad_a_dave

This pain I bear is mine alone... I will never be alone for its always with me. I will live with it, work with it, survive with it! It's my burden to bear and I will strive to not allow it to affect me or the things I do... However... I'd just like to say fuck you pain!!! I hate you today!!! That is all!

It's 1 am on a Friday night, been in bed since 9:30pm.... Missing people I shouldn't... Wishing my life is something it's not... My relationship... Well I'm in bed alone... Every night... Life... No matter how many good things happen sometimes you dwell on the past and wish you didn't let that one person slip through your fingers that for the rest of your life...
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Thank god for the good days!!! Sons birthday and I so glad I was able to make it to his student of the week! Good day!

Bad week at work... Broke as fuck... Out of meds so I'm in a ton of pain... Feel like I'm downing in the deep dark abyss called life!

Today... Is a rough day!!! Almost 10 hours at work... No lunch... My back is killing me... All so that I could help my son in wrestling... Luckily my son Ryan doesn't have diabetes like the doctor thought but he might have to have surgery to fix what's wrong with him...

Damn.... Well I just figured out I am a really really bad person! Don't ask, just take my word for it!

Left work early today because I'm sick as fuck today... Can't even think... Blah!!!

Well all 4 of the boys are in USA wrestling and they all are doing good... I am sick and feel like shit ... I keep telling myself only 1 more day of work... Only 1 more day...

Well my middle boy is 5th in Wyoming in reading and math for his grade... Ryan is going to be tested for the gifted and talented children's program... Same kid that got in trouble at least once a week obviously was just so bored he would get in trouble... Craziness!

Well today fucking sucked! A bolt came lose on my idle pulley and broke the pulley. I lost the bolt and bushing when it broke... So I had to get a new belt and pulley and search a junk yard for a bolt because dodge dealerships don't make them any more... When the belt broke it caused my radiator cap assembly break so I had...
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Signed my boys up for wresting today... I'm pretty excited to coach my boys especially since I wrestled for 10 years myself!

I have to get up in less than 5 hours for work yet can't sleep... I'm really confused right now... Life sucks right now... Can't make heads or tails out of what I really want... Can't move forward when your looking in the past but I miss the past... So much... I miss what I had... Stupid I know but it's true...