As a young boy there were many activities that I grew interested in and became involved with. I, like most other boys, liked climbing trees, playing in the dirt and participating in sports. I played basketball, soccer and of coarse, as most boys do I played Little Leauge baseball. I enjoyed playing baseball but in retrospect I did not like it more or less than the other sports i was involved with. As time went on I left my bat and my glove behind and left the field for good and slowly my fascination of the game went with it. Though my love for the game was, for the time being, gone I still considered myself a fan and enjoyed going to and watching games.
About eight years ago, for no obvious reason, I started becoming more and more interested in the game I had enjoyed as a child. I found myself watching every game I could on TV and then going to Fenway Park as often as I could. At the time I was going through hard times in my life but no matter what, if I was at the game, I forgot everything and was at peace inside. It became almost a religious experiance for me.
I also started finding myself studying the game and it's history more. I was reading every baseball related book I could get my hands on. I read books with stories that brought a bigger picture into mind. I found a book with the statistics of every player ever to play for the Boston Red Sox. I learned, among many other things, that a ball player by the name of Theodore Samuel "Ted" Williams pitched two innings, in 1940, at the begining of his illustrious career, (3 H, 1 ER, 1 K, 4.50 ERA). It was like learning the game all over again and seeing that it was more than just four bases, grass and a pitchers mound. I found myself seeing every pitch for what it meant to the rest of the at bat and the rest of the game not just that moment in it.
There are times I wish I could go back and talk to that boy who so easily gave up the game i love and tell him to keep pulling on that glove and swinging that bat. I also know that most likely if I had kept playing it wouyld have been just a game to me. My love for the stories and intricacies of the game would never have come to be and I would not enjoy sitting in the hot summer sun drinking a beer and eating a hot dog while watching the game I love so much.
also i had orientation yesterday. it went well. i then went out and bough myself a beer. my ex came in and sat down and started talking to me. i told her about college and my new moutain bike. how my father and grandmother are in the hospital too while we played the touch screen games and pool. and she told me that she had a boyfriend. she knew i was uncompfortable with the situation. she kept asking if it was ok to talk to me. and because of a couple of reasons i said yes. i don't understand why i can't just let her go. and until i can i am not going to stop suffering. i want to find a new girl friend but i don't know if it would be fair to me or whom ever it might be. i worry that i won't be able to fully commit. and that if a miracle happened and jennifer were to call that i would dump the new girl without question and hurt her. but on the other hand i need to have someone to talk to and have fun with. i geuss it's just a catch 22. i geuss i could use some advice on the last part of this.
Quote of the Week: "Is Wayne Brady going to have to kill a ho?"
