3rdgearstarter

Dearest dearest journal.

I haven't written in almost 1/2 of one year, which really isn't that strange for me. I actually completely forgot about this account all together until my oh-so-caring brother reminded me that I had forgotten to cancel the account after my 4 months that he had already paid for and that I owed him another 4 months worth of account fees.

The only reason I'm writing again is because someone was kind enough to leave me a comment. Thanks for that by the way.

So you know. I don't have a vespa, but I live down the street from the local vespa shop and drool over them every chance I get. I sometimes dream about taking every single penny I have squared away somewhere and buying one. and just leaving. and driving at a medium pace (compared to the rest of traffic) to somewhere completely out of the ordinary, like the yukon, or manitoba. Hopefully by the spring I will have the means financially to invest in such a machine. Im ashamed. I didn't even get around to renting one this summer. cry cry cry.

I hate the winter. Fuck, it's not even close to winter yet. Oh wait. I live in Canada, on the prairies. Thanks for the 6 inches of snow mother nature. I hate you. Nothing makes me feel like crap like the first snowfall of the year. I remember, every year, I vow to be rid of this city by the time I would have to go through it again the year after, and every year I disappoint myself. It's just that, edmonton has such a mind summer. Its beautiful here in the summer. It's never too hot, never too dry, never too humid. But come november 1st, the city is blanketed in snow, and the death of my spirits disappear with the autumn colours.

I just noticed that I never once posted in this journal outside the month that I got the account.

The kati thing is dead. I think that is pretty apparent from the last lingering entry. It was most definitely for the best though. She WAS crazy. She IS crazy, but that's fine. She is an unimportant part of my life now. I see her every now and then, and I like to talk to her. Just to catch up. So I can ask myself why I went crazy for her.

I moved out in september, Im living with my friends Ester and Annan in a cute flat just off of whyte avenue. I rather enjoy it. There is always someone here, and I like that. ester and I have bonded over sex and the city. Annan and I have still yet to really bond. Im sure it will happen though.

I'm seeing someone new. Well not really all that new, just new to this journal. Ive been seeing her for a few months now. Her name is Tara, and I haven't fallen head over heels crazy for her, and I love it this way. Maybe this is a normal relationship.

Don't get me wrong, I am smitten, I'm just not acting stupid about it. Her and I have had a few bumps along the way. Little things, this and that. but it all seems worth it when I spend an evening watching the neverending story with her.

Its weird. I seem to work on a 4 month cycle. I only ever meet new people every 4 months. someone new, that I date and then get dumped by after a week or two, and now that im part of something that is actually working, im wondering whats gonna happen when I hit that 4 month mark again. Who cares. Im happy.

Tara writes me notes, and tapes them to my fire escape door for me to find when im stumbling home in the middle of the night. I love that she considers me first. and I try to do the same for her. with varying success. I never was one to do anything right though. At least she sees that, and thinks its cute. or something.

werd.