tigerlily

AAAAAGH! i have hives! HIIIIIVVVVVVEEEESSSSSS!!

this morning i made myself a delightful little breakfast of buckwheat blueberry waffles, with syrup, and bee pollen sprinkled all over the top. just bought some new yesterday...i had been putting it in my smoothies, but hadn't had any for about a month.

as i'm eating my little snack, i notice a peculiar....itchy vibration all down my throat, in...
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this morning i stood in our bathroom, and opened the window wide, looking out onto the rain and the cherry tree in the garden next to our house. i looked up at the wet and juicy sky with it's heavy clouds, intermingled with blue patches. the last few days have reminded me of spring, altho we're nowhere close.

as i washed my face and started...
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"if someone doesn't appreciate your open and tender heart, then they don't deserve to be with you."

now that's the thing you expect to hear come out of the mouth of someone who truly loves you, yes? words like cool water over the scathing ache in my chest after being deeply hurt by someone else who supposedly cares for me deeply. (see a couple journal...
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nothing like some 80s music and sweet dancing to knit your heart back together.

what do you do when your very way of being in the world is rejected by someone you love? i don't mean like your style, or your vegan diet, or your politics. i mean, your very distinct, un-help-able, core way you deal with life?

funky dynamic you create with someone, i can get.

bad addiction that causes you to steal money from others --having issues...
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so. i've given you plenty of time. now cough it up...let me hear those new year resolutions. or thoughts. or grand plans that you secretely know you will NEVER act upon. or secrets that you will grandly act upon. or whatever motivated you to get out of bed this morning.

as for me, well. well well well. i have a few intentions up my sleeve....
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how was your weekend?

i went to chico, where my best friend, amy, lives. we've known each other since we were 16, and she's the most magical person i've ever met. she's part of an art collective, called 'the den', and they all have this fantastical style that tickles my brain and sensibilities and makes me feel like spirits are whispering in my ear, all...
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2004 can kiss my ass.

at some point i might do a little retrospective, honest, base touching journal re: my journey through this year. but right now, i want to say thank you. to everyone who got my back through all the layers of crap that came down, especially the last 4 months.

to everyone who responds to my journal on a regular basis, all...
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happy solstice!

tell me about you...tell me what passed away in the fall. what lies fallow now. what is waiting in the quiet dark? have you even begun to think about seeds, about germination, or are you just resting after all the intensity of decomposition? who are you holding dear on this long night of winter? if you are alone, what are you holding close...
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i actually just wrote a new entry, but this new story takes absolute precedence. (presidence? precidence? wtf?).

three days ago, i vividly wondered to myself if there were any coyotes in san francisco. i've seen foxes. hawks. owls. racoons...but as i searched my memory, i was certain i'd never heard of a coyote here in the city. the last time i saw one, it was...
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