good time yesterday/today
in the evening went to my friend j's house, ate some of her delicious ratatouille waiting for the rest of the group
then we all went out to the little park thing that her building is right by, found a comfy bench and smoked a sweet little joint. after which the plan was to go play pool but when we got there...
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in the evening went to my friend j's house, ate some of her delicious ratatouille waiting for the rest of the group
then we all went out to the little park thing that her building is right by, found a comfy bench and smoked a sweet little joint. after which the plan was to go play pool but when we got there... Read More
talamia:
Wait, just noticed something, when are you in SA in the year?
lately
iv been questioning everything
and not
really
because i intended to.
the questions just started and i cant seem to control it in anyway.
im questioning everything about myself and my life
and while questioning certainly isnt bad as such,
it dosnt leave me in a very stable position.
i find myself confronted with things iv pushed aside or buried deep
and
for the...
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philosophocles:
I just wrote a REALLY long, heartfelt response to that and my fucking cat walked across the keyboard and just deleted the whole thing. I screamed... There's no way i could find the energy or thoughts to recreate everything i just said right now.
in a very complicated way, i was saying that i know the way you feel. And that while i can't honestly tell you that it's "OK" or that things get better, i can say that I couldn't trade that part of my head for the world. I think that you are far above mediocrity if only you choose to be and find the strength to be honest with yourself at every turn, because most people are so far from being honest with themselves.
i usually feel like i work on things or i do things for short stretches. sometimes i even feel really confident and happy for a while. but then after a time I always come back to feeling the same way. I always feel that despite all the work i do to grow and change and move forward, on some fundamental level i've stayed the same. and that all the work and change i do has only been superficial and not getting to the core of my problems... I don't know if it's really true or if it's just a reflex. But i don't think most people can't understand it, because they just don't work that way and it feels lonely.
and there are ways to work on it. things you can do to work on problems of motivation.
again - i can't even began to rewrite everything i said before... but i feel like we are two peas in the same pod and i was pourin my heart out to try and help. maybe i'll come back to it in a day or two.
in a very complicated way, i was saying that i know the way you feel. And that while i can't honestly tell you that it's "OK" or that things get better, i can say that I couldn't trade that part of my head for the world. I think that you are far above mediocrity if only you choose to be and find the strength to be honest with yourself at every turn, because most people are so far from being honest with themselves.
i usually feel like i work on things or i do things for short stretches. sometimes i even feel really confident and happy for a while. but then after a time I always come back to feeling the same way. I always feel that despite all the work i do to grow and change and move forward, on some fundamental level i've stayed the same. and that all the work and change i do has only been superficial and not getting to the core of my problems... I don't know if it's really true or if it's just a reflex. But i don't think most people can't understand it, because they just don't work that way and it feels lonely.
and there are ways to work on it. things you can do to work on problems of motivation.
again - i can't even began to rewrite everything i said before... but i feel like we are two peas in the same pod and i was pourin my heart out to try and help. maybe i'll come back to it in a day or two.
i got accepted to everything i applied for
now i dont know what to choose :/
now i dont know what to choose :/
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
ron4164:
Congrats!!!
Now, choose the one you like most!
Now, choose the one you like most!
discoquette:
great !!! 
nice to meeet you!!!
nice to meeet you!!!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
ron4164:
Yep. That is a classic!
luis_007:
great classic
fine Jay!
i was just thinking how i dont feel like writing a blog, but since you commented :/
sigh
ok
this week has been very tense and stressful. i have never had an oral exam before let alone entrance exam so i didnt know what to expect. my irst one was on tuesday and was for Culture studies and i was reeeeaaally nervous but...
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i was just thinking how i dont feel like writing a blog, but since you commented :/
sigh
ok
this week has been very tense and stressful. i have never had an oral exam before let alone entrance exam so i didnt know what to expect. my irst one was on tuesday and was for Culture studies and i was reeeeaaally nervous but...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
jaybugg:
YAY A proper update I thoroughly enjoyed! I leave for Iraq in 9 days so I had to hear how you have been!!!!!
I loves ya and misses ya
I loves ya and misses ya
rollerblazer85:
eastwood is a bad ass, great movie.
i have the first of 3 oral entrance exams tomoro
i will write a proper blog when they are done
i will write a proper blog when they are done
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
leebus:
'oral entrance exam' sounds so dirty to me 
good luck!!!
good luck!!!
jaybugg:
blog?
Zorn fest blew my mind.
anthony braxton, holy fuck
and just in general, wow and yay
anthony braxton, holy fuck
and just in general, wow and yay
jaybugg:
Zorn?
philosophocles:
ohhh. looks purdy. makes me want to go camping before my summer is over. What mountains are those?
i NEED a haircut!!!
and im tired and dead and i will go watch the rest of House season 1
that is all
and some of you asked me when im gonna have a new set
which made me feel warm and squishy inside. thank you. but i do not know. alas alas
and im tired and dead and i will go watch the rest of House season 1
that is all
and some of you asked me when im gonna have a new set
which made me feel warm and squishy inside. thank you. but i do not know. alas alas
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
purpoison:
i like house
jaybugg:
I WANT!!!! NEW!!!!!!!!!! SET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lenya's set in MR is awesome! go look at it and comment!
the new mars volta..... <3
fuck yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
the new mars volta..... <3
fuck yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
jaybugg:
Indeed!!! MARS VOLTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Thankfully BEFORE I go to Iraq!!
Love the Osaka!!!
Thankfully BEFORE I go to Iraq!!
Love the Osaka!!!
diaz:
Haha not quite but thanks
Hey when are we seeing another set from you ladyface?
Hey when are we seeing another set from you ladyface?
hello
today i applied to art college. university, school. whatever you call it. there was a looooong line of people waiting to hand in their portfolios. mine was number 160 -_-' and that was just the first phase of the entrance exam.
ah well. we shall see. its out of my hands now.
And that is one of the main reasons i have been super...
Read More
today i applied to art college. university, school. whatever you call it. there was a looooong line of people waiting to hand in their portfolios. mine was number 160 -_-' and that was just the first phase of the entrance exam.
ah well. we shall see. its out of my hands now.
And that is one of the main reasons i have been super...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
visara:
Hey lady! Good to hear from you.
Good luck with that summer job hunting.
xxx
Good luck with that summer job hunting.
xxx
lenya:
4 czerwca waciwie jutro jakby spojrze na zegarek
ta.. a dzie silnie irytujcy. nie ma to jak randka z urzedem pracy biurokracja rulez
ta.. a dzie silnie irytujcy. nie ma to jak randka z urzedem pracy
biurokracja rulez Star Trek
seriously you guys
seriously
seriously you guys
seriously
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
shoegazerbrett:
thank you!
philosophocles:
maybe you SHOULD move. I'm debating whether or not i wanna live in Europe at some point for a while. My girlfriend is from Spain and we were discussing all the advantages of being a couple of one American and one European, cuz we can basically get citizenship anywhere. But either way, i'm ready to move somewhere new and PRETTIER. spending a few days in Pennsylvania (where my parents live with awesome gardens) made me so 100% sure that i'm over New York.
You're totally invited to come and live with me (not in the same house necessarily, but the same place) when i move out to the west coast or if i go to Europe. I wanna start cultivating awesome communities of my favorite people.
You're totally invited to come and live with me (not in the same house necessarily, but the same place) when i move out to the west coast or if i go to Europe. I wanna start cultivating awesome communities of my favorite people.