al

In Orali's livingroom, recovering from fever sleep.

I noticed something a while ago and have been thinking about it ever since. There is a certain level of intimacy, a closeness, an understanding that can only be reached with a person you're not fucking. There's something about sex that gets in the way, especially if that person is your signifigant other, not just a fuck buddy. I'm not saying you can't be close to your boy/girlfriend. I'm saying you're close to them in a different way than you are with someone you don't fuck. I think it has something to do with not being able to communicate physically. All you can use is words. Often times you want to be physically intimate with them and when you can't you have to find some other way to be close. All my closest friends are guys with whom I never had the chance to pursue a sexual relationship, and if given the chance I wouldn't do things any differently. The relationships I have mean too much.

Anyway, it's something I've been thinking about. It confuses me, and I pay more attention to things I want to understand.

I have a lot of time to think on the road. I enjoy the driving, the silence, the time for introspection.

Only a few more days. My country's birthday is coming up, too. Of course, her foundations have been totally ignored in the past few years and it makes me want to move away from her, but it's not really her fault. It's just her people.