Where are you going?
Where are you coming from?
What are you heading for?
These are totally useless questions.
Making a clean slate, starting or beginning again from ground zero,
seeking a beginning or a foundation - all imply a false conception of
voyage and movement (a conception that is methodical, pedagogical,
initiatory, symbolic...).
But Kleist, Lenz, and Büchner have another way of traveling and moving:
proceeding from the middle, through the middle, coming and going rather
than starting and finishing.
Gilles Deleuze / Félix Guattari - A Thousand Plateus.
A recent acquaintance, without knowing my mind had become a horrible mess of broken pieces, sent me this book from two anarcho-philisophers. S/he suggested I read a few select chapters. It didn't take very long until I reached the passages above. The realization that I didn't have to rebuild myself entirely from scratch, that finding one or a few stable centers, plateus, from which to start moving was a rather pleasant insight.
As they later write:
The middle is by no means an average; on the contrary, it is where things
pick up speed. Between things does not designate a localizable relation
going from one thing to the other and back again, but a perpendicular
direction, a transversal movement that sweeps one and the other away, a
stream without beginning or end that undermines its banks and picks up
speed in the middle.
Whether or not I can translate this into practice, we shall have to see. The mental rewirings are continuing.