zsadist

Well, I said I would be back. Today turned out to be the shittiest day in a long, long time. I just found out my man (who is currently incarcerated) will be returning to the hole for a misconduct. Now its only 90 days back there, I can handle that and so can he, we are strong and write each other everyday. The bad news comes in the form of...his visiting right have been taken away for the remainder of his sentence. Therefore, for the next 3 years or so I cannot, kiss, hug, touch him in any way possible. For 3 years. Now, some people might think "Ditch it" "Find someone else" But that impossible. This man is my soul mate and i know that with every ounce of my being. If you heard the story about how we met then you would probably think we were too. Nothing fits as perfectly as us. Every shitty relationship ive ever had to go through, i beleive, was merely building my character so that when the time came to meet him....I would be strong enough to overcome any and all obstacles in the way. So far there have been a few. I guess I'm down in the dumps about this but at the same time trying to stay optimistic and send out positive thoughts. You never know, that positive might come back our way and cut us some slack. I dont really know what to think right now, im still a little numb and in shock about it and have been self medicating in attempts to keep my compusure. The crazy things people do for love eh...I like to think that it conquers all. Ill even admit, in my profile it says under turn offs 2012. If the world did end this year, at this point the thought doesnt scare me as much, if it does it does. Ill just be able to see him sooner wherever we end up. Now thats a fucked up thought but this is a blog right...its kind of acting like my diary right now so im sorry if its making anyone out there barf. Im more worried for his feelings than mine. I have the outside world...things to keep me busy...he doesnt. Luckily, hes strong enough in mind and body to get through this. He just says its just another test for us. Right now, at this point and forever, nothing will stand in the way of us being together eventually. Love conquers all right??? Z