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zort

Milton

Member Since 2006

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Tuesday Jan 12, 2010

Jan 12, 2010
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Hahahaha, oh wow. I haven't updated in over a month, so I suppose I probably should get to it.
For starters I'm now on my new computer and it hauls all sorts of ass, though i'm so accustomed to using a laptop keyboard that I have to re-adjust to a fullsize. Christmas was pretty good, had the chance to see some family and ended up watching the Star Wars marathon that was on too. During the last week of december I ended up running into a "son of a bitch..." moment though. One of my molars had been bugging me, feeling like it had a rasped edge or something wedged in that kept scraping my tongue. I got fed up one night and went to pick out whatever was stuck, and ended up finding out that my tooth had actually cracked slightly as I ended up breaking that small little chip off. Not a major issue though, but I could feel the tiny hollow where it came from. The next day, however the problem worsened and I ended up breaking a larger piece off while I was eating. Fantastic, so half a molar on the side I eat with is gone. Being the 28th my dentist wasn't open until the monday following, so I couldn't even call in for an appointment. Ended up getting in on the 4th for it which I was apprehensive about since I don't have dental insurance and i'd be paying out of my own pocket. Wasn't too bad though, they took that into account and the total work was only $200. Not cheap, but much less than I was anticipating. Apparently the last time I went was back in 2004. A long time by any standards. I went for so long without taking good enough care of myself that i'm paying for it now. I don't know why I never looked after myself though. Probably just took my wellbeing for granted and never gave it a second thought. I look back on my past and have a lot of regrets, and they all relate back to my being fucking lazy and not caring. Kinda sucks a bunch.
On the personal front things have fallen quiet.
Emo rambling within

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I haven't spoken to Steffanie since November, I know that if I were to do so it would be counter productive to any progress i've made in moving past her. I will freely admit that I am still kinda hung up on her and would still be thrilled to be back with her, though i'm aware that trying to pickup where things left off wouldn't work. Things have grown cold and distant like I knew they would. I was doing very well, making plenty of progress when I saw our pictures again. Any kind of emotional successes i'd had in moving on ended up getting cut in half and I missed her all over again. I've started to notice something about all the girls I end up falling head over heels for. They all seem to have the same goddamned emotional lightswitch built in. I don't know how to explain it, really, but every girl i've become immensely attached to in a short period of time has done the same thing. We're close and good. Then there's that one day where everything feels really weird. Conversation is suddenly sterile, jokes get no response leading to a personal insecurity where I make a small cry for attention which goes unanswered. I can't wrap my head around it. Things are fantastic for so long and then one day, the switch is flipped and there's no more emotion from that person. It happens without warning or reason. For once i'd just like to have a functional relationship, where we're both absolutely crazy about each other and NOT have it end after a few months. At this rate it feels like i'm going to die alone.



As for exciting news, it looks as though i'm going to be going on a road trip to Boston with some friends at the end of March. We'll be there for the weekend before heading home. All of us heading down for PAX East to get our nerdy on. I'm already stupid excited for it.

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
the_swill:
Haha, great tag on that BilliePrudence set! I was thinking the exact same thing.
Jan 14, 2010
cavort:
Bahah, I came here to say the exact same thing as the_swill , looks like I got beat to it.
Jan 14, 2010

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