zort

Mt subconcious hates me. It has to after the dream I had last night.
The basics of which were: i ended up somewhere (basement apartment perhaps) and my ex, the one who has so far caused me the most emotional damage yet, was at the same place.
After dodging her all night, I decided i'd go and explore this impossibly large area. As I looked around and went in rooms that I thought were empty, she comes in behind me. There's a bit of dialogue between us, it's not pleasant, but we begin moving past that. Eventually I apologise to her about everything and tell her I miss her and still have feelings for her. She says the same, takes my hands and kisses me. It was like our first kiss all over again. We lay down and hold eachother again, and i'm reminded of how in love I was. I'm sure that she's ended it with her new guy by now, so maybe I can move back into my spot again, right? I go out to the kitchen/dining area for some food and sit down, a moment later she comes out and sits down with him.
I'm hurt, shocked and don't say a word. Just look at her holding on to him.
"uh... anyways, I uh have to get going" I stammer out and walk away.

fuck my dreams. I know that I still care about her but it hurts too much to even see her in passing at a concert.
fuck.