Just an update towards the previous entry, this time with a few more details
Just the other day I found out that the girl i've been trying for the last 2 years to be with, and was making some real progress with, AND who I deeply cared for, Alyssa, has a new boyfriend.
It's not the bf that hurt me the most, I know we're too far away from each other (2 hour drive) to really make anything happen, but it's the fact that she never ONCE mentioned it to me that she may be interested in somebody. Plus, add on the fact that she didn't TELL me she had a bf, instead I find out through Facebook. Real kind of her, don't you think? I haven't spoken to her for almost a week now for a few reasons:
1) I'm so deeply hurt, and so fucking ANGRY that I may say something harsh. She has been a good friend, and I don't want to lose that.
2) She lied to me about everything. Told me that she didn't want to start a relationship if I was too far away, well it turns out he was part of the reason behind that.
"We went to prom together, and i've liked him forever and he's always liked me..." blah blah blah
at the time she told me it had just happened within the previous 3 hours, so she hadn't had time to tell me yet.
One flaw there, the conversation we had about how I felt was almost a month before that.
One month before all this shit, I poured myself out to her, told her how I felt. How much I loved her, what she meant to me, and how badly I wanted to be with her.
I'm the one that gets shit on. Every single goddamned time.
I don't know what to do. I want to scream at her, ream her out for the whole thing so she knows how hurt I am.
But I also don't want to lose her....
This just further fortifies my theory that "the nice guy" that women seem to look for, is never what they really look for. They want that abusive, lying asshole who'll hurt her, cheat on her, forget everything, ignore her and generally not care for anyone but himself.
Hm, who knows, maybe if I ream her out like a total asshole she'll try to get with me instead...
/ 
Just the other day I found out that the girl i've been trying for the last 2 years to be with, and was making some real progress with, AND who I deeply cared for, Alyssa, has a new boyfriend.
It's not the bf that hurt me the most, I know we're too far away from each other (2 hour drive) to really make anything happen, but it's the fact that she never ONCE mentioned it to me that she may be interested in somebody. Plus, add on the fact that she didn't TELL me she had a bf, instead I find out through Facebook. Real kind of her, don't you think? I haven't spoken to her for almost a week now for a few reasons:
1) I'm so deeply hurt, and so fucking ANGRY that I may say something harsh. She has been a good friend, and I don't want to lose that.
2) She lied to me about everything. Told me that she didn't want to start a relationship if I was too far away, well it turns out he was part of the reason behind that.
"We went to prom together, and i've liked him forever and he's always liked me..." blah blah blah
at the time she told me it had just happened within the previous 3 hours, so she hadn't had time to tell me yet.
One flaw there, the conversation we had about how I felt was almost a month before that.
One month before all this shit, I poured myself out to her, told her how I felt. How much I loved her, what she meant to me, and how badly I wanted to be with her.
I'm the one that gets shit on. Every single goddamned time.
I don't know what to do. I want to scream at her, ream her out for the whole thing so she knows how hurt I am.
But I also don't want to lose her....
This just further fortifies my theory that "the nice guy" that women seem to look for, is never what they really look for. They want that abusive, lying asshole who'll hurt her, cheat on her, forget everything, ignore her and generally not care for anyone but himself.
Hm, who knows, maybe if I ream her out like a total asshole she'll try to get with me instead...
/ VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
You've got it all wrong, again!
Dinosaurs live on as chickens.
At any rate, I agree with Kai, you should come visit us. And give us both lovins.. at the same time.
But good luck with everything. <3
And I actually just came here to tell you nice new profile pic haha.