There is a significant point to this particular blog.
Nate left for his deployment yesterday... He called me right before he boarded for the the last leg of his flight that would take him out of the states. After he hung up I completely lost it, and found myself collapsed and sobbing uncontrollably on the kitchen floor, clutching my arms to my chest like my guts had been torn out. I've never known heart ache like this, I had no idea it would be this hard, and I was caught offguard by my reaction to it. I thought I had thick skin. But like always, after a few minutes, I came to my senses, looked at the logical side of the situation, and picked myself up. As I've said, people go through this all the time... But the truth is it doesn't seem like a big deal until it's you that is saying goodbye to your other half. You could never understand what it's like, or how heartbreaking it is unless it was actually you taking a walk in those shoes. I thought I did, but now I know better.
We are losing a year of watching the kids grow up together, of Isaac starting school, of our baby girl's first year of life... Such precious, precious time that we can never get back. I'm terrified of something happening to him, of not being able to know when the next time we'll be able to talk to each other, or when I'll b able to hear his voice...
I am now at a point in my life where the outside world doesn't really matter to me, and I just simply don't have time for it. All of my focus is on my loved ones and my education. I'll have to bust my butt, but I'm hoping to be eligable to take the nclex by the time Nate gets back. My priorities are dead on where they should be, and that alone makes me feel good despite all the heart ache . I've never known such direction, I've never known such love. My life has never been so blessed.
I've truly appreciated getting to know the people that I've bonded with on here, and there are a few of you whom I shall still keep in touch with because you have become like family to me. What I'm trying to say my dear friends, is that I won't be around much anymore. Much love to you all, and best wishes in all of your future endeavors.
Nate left for his deployment yesterday... He called me right before he boarded for the the last leg of his flight that would take him out of the states. After he hung up I completely lost it, and found myself collapsed and sobbing uncontrollably on the kitchen floor, clutching my arms to my chest like my guts had been torn out. I've never known heart ache like this, I had no idea it would be this hard, and I was caught offguard by my reaction to it. I thought I had thick skin. But like always, after a few minutes, I came to my senses, looked at the logical side of the situation, and picked myself up. As I've said, people go through this all the time... But the truth is it doesn't seem like a big deal until it's you that is saying goodbye to your other half. You could never understand what it's like, or how heartbreaking it is unless it was actually you taking a walk in those shoes. I thought I did, but now I know better.
We are losing a year of watching the kids grow up together, of Isaac starting school, of our baby girl's first year of life... Such precious, precious time that we can never get back. I'm terrified of something happening to him, of not being able to know when the next time we'll be able to talk to each other, or when I'll b able to hear his voice...
I am now at a point in my life where the outside world doesn't really matter to me, and I just simply don't have time for it. All of my focus is on my loved ones and my education. I'll have to bust my butt, but I'm hoping to be eligable to take the nclex by the time Nate gets back. My priorities are dead on where they should be, and that alone makes me feel good despite all the heart ache . I've never known such direction, I've never known such love. My life has never been so blessed.
I've truly appreciated getting to know the people that I've bonded with on here, and there are a few of you whom I shall still keep in touch with because you have become like family to me. What I'm trying to say my dear friends, is that I won't be around much anymore. Much love to you all, and best wishes in all of your future endeavors.
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I want updates on the kidlets too, take good care.
xx
good luck with the education. kiss those beautiful children of yours for me!!
<3