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zoomusikgrl

dirty jersey

Hopeful Since 2006

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Monday Jul 26, 2010

Jul 26, 2010
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the obligatory "post-camping" blog.



well, what can i say? every year i say i'm not up to going next year, then right before the trip i get suckered into it, get excited, have a blast, and then inexplicably say that that's the last year i'm going. maybe i want to end it on a high note. i think i had so much fun this year though, that i'll skip the theatrics and just say that i'm down for going next year. durf durf.

i find it interesting as i get older to see how people interact on this trip- i find it to be a good representation, a microcosm if you will, of the real world. i mean, even though it's technically car camping, you're still out in the wild a bit. you still have to work a little harder at survival than in your daily life. personalities come out of the woodwork. (HAHA!) this trip felt a little bit to me like the trip of "big personalities", despite the fact that there have been way bigger personalities in years past.

naturally, there were people this year that i had sort of rolled my eyes at the thought of interacting with. surprisingly, i ended up enjoying spending time with them. conversely, there were other people that i was absolutely stoked to see, yet i found i had little to say to them. not even in a hateful or annoyed way, just didn't feel much connection.

maybe it's an aging thing. we're getting older, the trip has gotten more laid back. i keep telling my best friend to come with me, but having heard wild stories about years past, he's adamant about not attending. yet i know he'd have a blast, because all we seemed to do this year was sit around the fire and drink and eat and talk and just generally be chill. i mean, the drug-fueled fisty business is all well and good when you're young, like sow yr wild oats and all that... but it's not my thing anymore, and it's not what it was about this year, and i'm quite content with that. i think if it was still like that, i definitely wouldn't go.

gosh i'm having a hard time finding the words for what i want to say. i haven't blogged in a while so i'm feeling rusty. and ya know, i don't think it's just about camping.

i think the point is that i had a great fucking time at camping with great fucking people. same as my daily life. yet with camping, as with my real life, i'm finding less and less patience within me to deal with big personalities. it seems that within the past year- the past 6 months even- a lot of people in my life have like, suddenly snapped out of it. they woke up from the proverbial bad dream and got their shit together. me included. i'm trying, anyway.

and we've all taken off running, while there's still scattered people in our lives who just don't fucking get it. they're still dreaming and chasing butterflies and waiting for the rest of us to explain it to them. well guess what? you can't help people sometimes. it's fine to collect strays when your young, because at 16 or 22 or even 25, everyone is a little stupid and twisted and fucked up. you lock arms and slog through the shit together. but i'm pushing 30. i'm ready to settle down. and i'm sorry, but i don't have time for broken people anymore. i ran the gauntlet of getting my shit straight, and i can describe it to you until i'm blue in the face. but my gauntlet won't fix your problems. and as much as i love being the go-to person, the shoulder to cry on, if you aren't in my inner circle, then i don't want to extend that courtesy anymore.

unfortunately, i don't do well with confrontation. hard time saying no. bit of a magpie. gotta get past that and weed out the bad seeds.

PHWOAR where the hell did that come from!
anyway, off to upload pics and make bread pudding.
thanks again to all my ecct buddies for making 2010 totally epic. smile mwah!
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
airyk:
Haha that's great! I'm please to know that I was spreading joy so far and wide smile It was nice to meet shaun, he seems like a coo guy. Can't wait to hang out with you guys in NYC/NJ!
Jul 27, 2010
arbitraria:
ah darlin'...i do love that last part about broken people...my sentiments exactly. wink

hoping that things will calm down a bit now that summer's waning (will the humidity end though? i feel like one day it will snow and that will be the end of it, blech.) i've been missing you way too much!!!
Jul 29, 2010

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