meh. drins with the ex tonight.
he's the only one that ever dumped me- i went fucking batshit crazy for a long while afterwards! i drank and drank and drank and cried and wrote lots of hideous poetry and did wierd stalker shit. for example, he was a dj on a radio show at the time, and one day he had a female friend guest dj with him. so i called up and screamed at him, accusing him of cheating on me with said female friend. on the air.
*shudder*
ouch.
thank GOD i'm not like that anymore. people might start talking.
i was afraid i'd still get the shakes being in his presence. but i don't. and we actually had a good time. the train ride home was a little rough- i got to thinking about all the horrible stuff that happened during that period of my life and it brought me down for a few. but i'm so so different now. six years older and wiser. and if i'm crazy now, it's just that i'm crazy in love with someone who really gets me. it's so surreal hanging out with someone that's basically a stranger now, and looking them in the eye and knowing that not only did you used to live with them, you used to love them, and sleep with them, and be extremely close and vulnerable and whatnot with them. a little embarassing really. i can't imagine ever being like that with anyone except the biff ever again.
i had a hard time looking the ex in the eye tonight.
i think i didn't want him to get inside my head again.
but you know what? he didn't.
he smiled and i felt nothing. and i was very pleased about it.
i'm sure my biff is going to read this at some point. and as we are very grown up and mature about things and don't actually talk about what we do/say on sg, i will say that if you are reading this beeb, then please know that i am so over it all.
i'm also going through this weird period where i think i'm sorta kinda popular. god that sounds arrogant. i was always a big fucking dork. not a lot of friends, maybe for a bit in h.s. but essentially geeky and not too sociable.
but all of a sudden, i have a lot of friends.
and they keep telling me how great i am and how much they appreciate me.
and i feel extremely awkward about it! like dude! i'm just being me. seriously, i'm not special. i can listen, and i can sew, and i don't mind buying you a drink. why is this such a novel idear??? what kind of friends do you have that little old zoo is somehow above them?
i think some of you need new friends.
blah blah blah
i'm out of stories
i'm shooting tomorrow and i'm drunk and i have to get up at like 8 am to go do hair and makeup shit
MEH
"This isn't you yet
What you thought was such a conquest
Your hair is so pretty and red
Baby, baby you're really the best..."
he's the only one that ever dumped me- i went fucking batshit crazy for a long while afterwards! i drank and drank and drank and cried and wrote lots of hideous poetry and did wierd stalker shit. for example, he was a dj on a radio show at the time, and one day he had a female friend guest dj with him. so i called up and screamed at him, accusing him of cheating on me with said female friend. on the air.
*shudder*
ouch.
thank GOD i'm not like that anymore. people might start talking.
i was afraid i'd still get the shakes being in his presence. but i don't. and we actually had a good time. the train ride home was a little rough- i got to thinking about all the horrible stuff that happened during that period of my life and it brought me down for a few. but i'm so so different now. six years older and wiser. and if i'm crazy now, it's just that i'm crazy in love with someone who really gets me. it's so surreal hanging out with someone that's basically a stranger now, and looking them in the eye and knowing that not only did you used to live with them, you used to love them, and sleep with them, and be extremely close and vulnerable and whatnot with them. a little embarassing really. i can't imagine ever being like that with anyone except the biff ever again.
i had a hard time looking the ex in the eye tonight.
i think i didn't want him to get inside my head again.
but you know what? he didn't.
he smiled and i felt nothing. and i was very pleased about it.
i'm sure my biff is going to read this at some point. and as we are very grown up and mature about things and don't actually talk about what we do/say on sg, i will say that if you are reading this beeb, then please know that i am so over it all.
i'm also going through this weird period where i think i'm sorta kinda popular. god that sounds arrogant. i was always a big fucking dork. not a lot of friends, maybe for a bit in h.s. but essentially geeky and not too sociable.
but all of a sudden, i have a lot of friends.
and they keep telling me how great i am and how much they appreciate me.
and i feel extremely awkward about it! like dude! i'm just being me. seriously, i'm not special. i can listen, and i can sew, and i don't mind buying you a drink. why is this such a novel idear??? what kind of friends do you have that little old zoo is somehow above them?
i think some of you need new friends.
blah blah blah
i'm out of stories
i'm shooting tomorrow and i'm drunk and i have to get up at like 8 am to go do hair and makeup shit
MEH
"This isn't you yet
What you thought was such a conquest
Your hair is so pretty and red
Baby, baby you're really the best..."
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
i've spent most of today reading a book i bought and thinking about how to apply the principles contained in it to my life. one of the underlying messages is that if you listen to people and make them feel like they're important, it works wonders. people love to talk about themselves, and being someone who listens very well makes them appreciate you a whole lot more. i feel like this is coming across the wrong way, and i'm sorry if it is - all i'm doing is trying to explain why people have responded that way to you. this isn't to say that you don't have moments of greatness where it's like zoo is walking on water - and it can be because simple stuff too. one single message on this site can change a life, as you and I both know...