i had been saving specific ringtones into my phone for certain people last week. i saved one for my friend bee, and had been calling and texting him with no problems. so bee comes over the other night, and while i'm in the bathroom he texted me.
"who are you".
so me thinking he's being funny (that phrase is one of our running jokes), i responded appropriately:
"i'm rick james, bitch!"
and i giggle to myself and think that we're so damn funny. a few minutes later, i get a response:
"If u dont know me than go fuck yourself or bring it u faggot ass mother fucker!!! and how do u know i'm a bitch and not a nigga?"
which is really fucking funny, but totally out of character for bee. he would at least use punctuation. and it hits me... oh my god, bee lost his phone. and someone's found it and is keeping it and I HAVE TO SAVE HIS PHONE!" (by this point i had showed the message to gonzo and bee, who mentioned that he didn't even have his phone with him.) so, i write back something along the lines of, "you have my friends phone. can you bring it back to where you found it?"
"your friend my ass i've had this number for 7 months who u lookin 4"
so i panic, and try calling his phone. no answer. but it's still his voicemail message. weird! we're all sitting there confused as hell. poor bee is freaking out cause some ANGRY LADY has stolen his phone.
just when we thought it was gone forever, and crackwhore had herself a nice new razr, he gets the brilliant idea to check the number.
his number was xxx-322-xxxx
turns out i was sending texts to xxx-822-xxxx.
*smacks forehead*
everyone laughs heartily and points at zoo, the dumbest woman in the room.
that's what i get for trying to save special ringtones.
stupid sidekick.
so i write back something about omg, so sorry, i saved his number wrong, i won't bother you again. and she replies "it's all good but a little advice get your numbers right b-cuz another mother fucker might not give a fuck late a(cuts off)"
thinking it was all over, i turned my phone off, and we had a good laugh. the next morning, however, i see i have a NEW MESSAGE WAITING. oh glory! here's what that angry bitch had to say:
"and by the way i don't buy your phoney ass story why would u automatically assume that his phone was stolen just b-cuz he didn't return 1 text msg u r a lying mother fucker a don't you ever call me a bitch again asshole!!!!!!!!"
those are all actual quotes, btw. craazy! guess that bitch had to have the last word. like, i know it was a dumb stoner moment, but no need to be mean! "i'm rick james, bitch" is a well known quote! fucking uppity ghetto broads. i did have a good time all the next day mentally composing witty replies to her message. but i behaved myself, and didn't respond.
♥