so here's a good story. read it.
this morning i was exiting the train station, when i noticed a woman standing off to the side. she was a normal, middle aged looking woman who was dressed like she was on her way to work. but she was bent over, either wrapping or rubbing a newspaper on her legs and trying very hard not to look at anyone around her. i stared at her for a moment, then exited the station and lit a cigarette, same as i do every day, wondering what the hell was wrong with new yorkers that would compel them to rub down their legs with newspapers.
a block and a half later, i realized that she must have SHIT HER PANTS, and was using the newspaper in a desparate attempt to contain the mess...which i remembered had already leaked onto her ankles, shoes, and the floor. the poor woman! i immediately felt guilty for not stopping to help her, and spent a great portion of the day wondering what happened to her. can you imagine how mortifying that must be?
on the way home i made sure to use the same entrance...and lo and behold, a suspicious orangey-brown streak remained on the floor where she'd stood. and that kids, is why you never ever go barefoot in the city. or fart in a train station with a case of the squirts.
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the rest of the day was pretty standard- very boring work, my draper yelling at everyone in sight for doing absolutely nothing wrong, and meeting strumpet for my morning cigarette break. (the highlight of my day!) i felt very bad for the rest of my team, my draper was just vicious to them, even though they were working their asses off while she was sitting there filing her nails. i wish she would just retire already, and go sit at home and be miserable. the two months she was gone were so productive and fun and happy...isn't that sad? but so it goes.
as for my weekend:
friday night i went with mobilman75 to meet some of the kids from sgnj. it was like, totally bodacious. no seriously, it was a blast, and even though i was half expecting a bunch of crazy wierdoes, it turns out that sgnj is full of really nice, friendly people that i immediately felt comfortable with. i'm so sad that i won't be able to go to the next event! damn photo shoot.
i'll be around though...oh yes. more than you think. mwah hah hah!
saturday and sunday gonzo and i house sat for my family (perpetually on vacation, i swear half the town has keys to my folks place). this included their less-than-a-year-old puppy, who decided to follow us around both days in a perpetual state of licking, jumping, barking, pooping, nipping, and getting underfoot. uuurgh! sorry kids, but i just am not a dog lover, period. in fact, i fucking hate most dogs. this particular 4 legged stinkfest is actually really cute and sweet, so i don't hate her, but i am just the WRONG person to babysit an untrained puppy. and i have a bit of a temper, so i was loathe to be nice about it when she decided to use the playstation as a toilet.
last night there was a thunderstorm, which scared the crap out of her. every two hours, i woke up to a little furry face staring back at me while she whined pitifully. eventually i got her up on the couch with me and petted her until she was calm, but then she got comfortable, which meant taking up the entire couch and kept me up the rest of the night with my legs all pins and needles. like god damnit, i need sleep, you mutt!
so i was awake early enough to get dressed, feed her and the rest of the pets, pack up my stuff, drive twenty minutes to my apartment, and catch the EARLY train to work. i swear, i'm never doing my family any favors again. they totally make me their bitch. and i'm stupid to put up with it.
now i'm sitting here, waiting for my damn period to start. i tend to get it during important occasions (i.e prom), so i figure it'll show its ugly face saturday morning when i have my photoshoot with steve. great.
anyway, despite all that nonsense, i'm actually in a very good mood, and happy to be home relaxing with gonzo! hope yr all well and good...
this morning i was exiting the train station, when i noticed a woman standing off to the side. she was a normal, middle aged looking woman who was dressed like she was on her way to work. but she was bent over, either wrapping or rubbing a newspaper on her legs and trying very hard not to look at anyone around her. i stared at her for a moment, then exited the station and lit a cigarette, same as i do every day, wondering what the hell was wrong with new yorkers that would compel them to rub down their legs with newspapers.
a block and a half later, i realized that she must have SHIT HER PANTS, and was using the newspaper in a desparate attempt to contain the mess...which i remembered had already leaked onto her ankles, shoes, and the floor. the poor woman! i immediately felt guilty for not stopping to help her, and spent a great portion of the day wondering what happened to her. can you imagine how mortifying that must be?
on the way home i made sure to use the same entrance...and lo and behold, a suspicious orangey-brown streak remained on the floor where she'd stood. and that kids, is why you never ever go barefoot in the city. or fart in a train station with a case of the squirts.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the rest of the day was pretty standard- very boring work, my draper yelling at everyone in sight for doing absolutely nothing wrong, and meeting strumpet for my morning cigarette break. (the highlight of my day!) i felt very bad for the rest of my team, my draper was just vicious to them, even though they were working their asses off while she was sitting there filing her nails. i wish she would just retire already, and go sit at home and be miserable. the two months she was gone were so productive and fun and happy...isn't that sad? but so it goes.
as for my weekend:
friday night i went with mobilman75 to meet some of the kids from sgnj. it was like, totally bodacious. no seriously, it was a blast, and even though i was half expecting a bunch of crazy wierdoes, it turns out that sgnj is full of really nice, friendly people that i immediately felt comfortable with. i'm so sad that i won't be able to go to the next event! damn photo shoot.
i'll be around though...oh yes. more than you think. mwah hah hah!
saturday and sunday gonzo and i house sat for my family (perpetually on vacation, i swear half the town has keys to my folks place). this included their less-than-a-year-old puppy, who decided to follow us around both days in a perpetual state of licking, jumping, barking, pooping, nipping, and getting underfoot. uuurgh! sorry kids, but i just am not a dog lover, period. in fact, i fucking hate most dogs. this particular 4 legged stinkfest is actually really cute and sweet, so i don't hate her, but i am just the WRONG person to babysit an untrained puppy. and i have a bit of a temper, so i was loathe to be nice about it when she decided to use the playstation as a toilet.
last night there was a thunderstorm, which scared the crap out of her. every two hours, i woke up to a little furry face staring back at me while she whined pitifully. eventually i got her up on the couch with me and petted her until she was calm, but then she got comfortable, which meant taking up the entire couch and kept me up the rest of the night with my legs all pins and needles. like god damnit, i need sleep, you mutt!
so i was awake early enough to get dressed, feed her and the rest of the pets, pack up my stuff, drive twenty minutes to my apartment, and catch the EARLY train to work. i swear, i'm never doing my family any favors again. they totally make me their bitch. and i'm stupid to put up with it.
now i'm sitting here, waiting for my damn period to start. i tend to get it during important occasions (i.e prom), so i figure it'll show its ugly face saturday morning when i have my photoshoot with steve. great.
anyway, despite all that nonsense, i'm actually in a very good mood, and happy to be home relaxing with gonzo! hope yr all well and good...
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
tattooeddad:
My lovely friend, where have you been? I miss you man 
endquire:
I am glad things seem to be largely good for you. I hope the shoot goes well.