aright, lemme make this quick, as i found a COCKROACH in my bathtub last night, and am preparing to scrub my entire apartment.
yeah, a roach. and not the good kind.
i haven't seen a roach since i was 4 and living in a hovel, and gonzo has never seen one before. so we weren't sure if that's what it was, or some sort of wierd summer insect that likes to startle you on hot summer nights. we keep the place pretty clean, and have never had bug problems before, so we didn't have any bug spray.
we tried squirting it with windex and kaboom! (i love that stuff), and it obviously didn't die, as cockroaches are the craziest cratures ever and can live WITHOUT A HEAD. so this morning i had to shower with a little brown buddy hiding under my clear plastic bathmat (shudder). when i came home tonight, i didn't see it in there...hopefully it crawled away somewhere to die, preferably my neighbors house.
the way i determined whether or not it was a roach was by describing and sketching it for all my manhattan-dwelling coworkers at lunch today. they're all used to it, but growing up in suburban new jersey, where you don't get bugs if you keep your place clean, i was totally disgusted, and went on about how shocking it was for a good ten minutes. which prompted my draper (who is officially back at work, and meaner than ever) to go on her own tirade about how roaches are the most AMAZING CRATURES and they live everywhere, even palaces, and how it has nothing to do with how clean you keep your home.
this coming from a woman who smells like she is ROTTING from the inside out- literally, she smells like what i imagine an animated corpse to smell like- and who is also infamous for living like the crazy cat lady, with so much shit piled up around her in her apartment, that there is only a path from the door, to the fridge, to the tv, to her bed. and yes, she also has several cats. when she was gone, we attempted to clean her workspace just enough to make it neat- and not only were the shelves under her table coated with an inch of dust, but my coworker shifted something around under there and got a whiff of her stench. literally! like a sewage and mcdonalds air freshener, the kind that puffs out littel bursts of scent periodically.
so yeah...my boss is a heinous beast, i have a bug problem, and my set is less than two weeks away, so i'm a little crazy trying to get everything perfect. naturally my sewing machine decided last night to crap out on me, just as i was all set to work on my handcrafted lingerie. it's just a zig zag stitch, you plastic piece of crap! work! WORK, DAMN YOU!
if anyone ever comes across a vintage industrial singer sewing machine, give it to me so i don't have to use my garbage home sewing machine anymore.
so much for keeping it short! ha ha anyway, off to go get sweaty and dirty...
yeah, a roach. and not the good kind.
i haven't seen a roach since i was 4 and living in a hovel, and gonzo has never seen one before. so we weren't sure if that's what it was, or some sort of wierd summer insect that likes to startle you on hot summer nights. we keep the place pretty clean, and have never had bug problems before, so we didn't have any bug spray.
we tried squirting it with windex and kaboom! (i love that stuff), and it obviously didn't die, as cockroaches are the craziest cratures ever and can live WITHOUT A HEAD. so this morning i had to shower with a little brown buddy hiding under my clear plastic bathmat (shudder). when i came home tonight, i didn't see it in there...hopefully it crawled away somewhere to die, preferably my neighbors house.
the way i determined whether or not it was a roach was by describing and sketching it for all my manhattan-dwelling coworkers at lunch today. they're all used to it, but growing up in suburban new jersey, where you don't get bugs if you keep your place clean, i was totally disgusted, and went on about how shocking it was for a good ten minutes. which prompted my draper (who is officially back at work, and meaner than ever) to go on her own tirade about how roaches are the most AMAZING CRATURES and they live everywhere, even palaces, and how it has nothing to do with how clean you keep your home.
this coming from a woman who smells like she is ROTTING from the inside out- literally, she smells like what i imagine an animated corpse to smell like- and who is also infamous for living like the crazy cat lady, with so much shit piled up around her in her apartment, that there is only a path from the door, to the fridge, to the tv, to her bed. and yes, she also has several cats. when she was gone, we attempted to clean her workspace just enough to make it neat- and not only were the shelves under her table coated with an inch of dust, but my coworker shifted something around under there and got a whiff of her stench. literally! like a sewage and mcdonalds air freshener, the kind that puffs out littel bursts of scent periodically.
so yeah...my boss is a heinous beast, i have a bug problem, and my set is less than two weeks away, so i'm a little crazy trying to get everything perfect. naturally my sewing machine decided last night to crap out on me, just as i was all set to work on my handcrafted lingerie. it's just a zig zag stitch, you plastic piece of crap! work! WORK, DAMN YOU!
if anyone ever comes across a vintage industrial singer sewing machine, give it to me so i don't have to use my garbage home sewing machine anymore.
so much for keeping it short! ha ha anyway, off to go get sweaty and dirty...
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Now if I can only do something about those two-legged human cockroaches that hang outside of my building...