you know what? fuck birthdays. fuck 'em with a big rubber dildo.
i've always gotten frustrated with people who use their birthday as the measure of who cares about them and who does not. i feel that once you hit 21, there's not many milestones anymore. you're an adult now, big whoop. so is the rest of the world. it's inevitable that you're going to have shitty birthdays. once you're an adult, people are too busy or distracted to remember, and if you use your birthday as a measure of how many friends you have or how much people care about you, you are BOUND to be disappointed. when you're a child, a birthday is all about presents, and parties, and cake, and people singing to you, and wearing that stupid paper crown in class, and having your locker decorated, and having your mother bring in cupcakes and goody bags. get real people, no one at your office is going to decorate your desk and give you a hat to wear all day. your not special anymore. get over it and take the fucking day off and go do something fun if you want a "great" birthday.
i don't know why i'm so depressed about my birthday this year. i partied this weekend. i got some really cool gifts (including an incredible book on russian criminal tattoos- thank you gonzo!), took myself shopping, saw some of my friends, lots of good wishes from friends online, cards, phone calls, text messages, and 2 cakes at work. (thank you draper and firsthand!) my car insurance should be going down this year, and i have a set to shoot in three weeks with the amazing steve prue that absolutely CAN'T be rejected, the idea is too good. hell, this birthday is way better than some birthdays i've had in the past!
but this year, i just want to forget my birthday completely. i've been depressed since friday, like ready to cry depressed. which is very out of character for me. gonzo says that you hit a wall at 25, and your whole life changes. but i already hit that wall, and i'm very happy with my life right now, so that can't be it. i don't know. i just wish this wretched day would be over with so i can get back to my life.
maybe it's all the pressure to feel special and have an amazing, extraordinary day when you don't feel special at all and the day is just like any other. it's crippling. birthdays should be banned so people shouldn't have to be reminded of how ordinary and insignificant they are in the grand scheme of things. or how quickly the march towards death progresses. after 21, what's to look forward to? nothing. another year of breaking your back for way less than you deserve. a few more wrinkles, a few more patches of hair in wierd places, a little more fat, a little more darkness creeping in under your eyes. you're born, you grow up, have a few kids and get in line for the rat race, and suddenly your on your deathbed and has the world changed at all? have you left your mark in history? no! your just another pile of flesh contributing to the desecration of the planet, eating and shitting and trampling the grass. if you weren't here, the world would be exactly the same! and guess what? nobody cares. your another day older, and deeper in debt. happy fucking birthday.
all that cake i ate today gave me the shits.
i've always gotten frustrated with people who use their birthday as the measure of who cares about them and who does not. i feel that once you hit 21, there's not many milestones anymore. you're an adult now, big whoop. so is the rest of the world. it's inevitable that you're going to have shitty birthdays. once you're an adult, people are too busy or distracted to remember, and if you use your birthday as a measure of how many friends you have or how much people care about you, you are BOUND to be disappointed. when you're a child, a birthday is all about presents, and parties, and cake, and people singing to you, and wearing that stupid paper crown in class, and having your locker decorated, and having your mother bring in cupcakes and goody bags. get real people, no one at your office is going to decorate your desk and give you a hat to wear all day. your not special anymore. get over it and take the fucking day off and go do something fun if you want a "great" birthday.
i don't know why i'm so depressed about my birthday this year. i partied this weekend. i got some really cool gifts (including an incredible book on russian criminal tattoos- thank you gonzo!), took myself shopping, saw some of my friends, lots of good wishes from friends online, cards, phone calls, text messages, and 2 cakes at work. (thank you draper and firsthand!) my car insurance should be going down this year, and i have a set to shoot in three weeks with the amazing steve prue that absolutely CAN'T be rejected, the idea is too good. hell, this birthday is way better than some birthdays i've had in the past!
but this year, i just want to forget my birthday completely. i've been depressed since friday, like ready to cry depressed. which is very out of character for me. gonzo says that you hit a wall at 25, and your whole life changes. but i already hit that wall, and i'm very happy with my life right now, so that can't be it. i don't know. i just wish this wretched day would be over with so i can get back to my life.
maybe it's all the pressure to feel special and have an amazing, extraordinary day when you don't feel special at all and the day is just like any other. it's crippling. birthdays should be banned so people shouldn't have to be reminded of how ordinary and insignificant they are in the grand scheme of things. or how quickly the march towards death progresses. after 21, what's to look forward to? nothing. another year of breaking your back for way less than you deserve. a few more wrinkles, a few more patches of hair in wierd places, a little more fat, a little more darkness creeping in under your eyes. you're born, you grow up, have a few kids and get in line for the rat race, and suddenly your on your deathbed and has the world changed at all? have you left your mark in history? no! your just another pile of flesh contributing to the desecration of the planet, eating and shitting and trampling the grass. if you weren't here, the world would be exactly the same! and guess what? nobody cares. your another day older, and deeper in debt. happy fucking birthday.
all that cake i ate today gave me the shits.
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Anyways, I hope you had a special day nonetheless (and minus the birthday cake shits) and good luck with shooting your set!