zombiexdoll

I tried to hold off as long as I could with this bullshit but it's really starting to hit me hard right now. I wished I would never have to feel this pain in my life ever again. That's just an unrealistic wish though. It's just really one of the worst pains I have to deal with. I knew it would hit me soon and I'm glad it finally did so maybe now I can start rebuilding myself. I kept telling myself I didn't care and that I was better off but I couldn't keep lying. There was just so much bothering me today that I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I know I'll be fine. I know how long it'll take me. It's just the fact that I don't want to deal with it. I can but I don't want to. That's all. Hopefully tomorrow won't be as bad. Steven doesn't work so maybe we can call the other guys to hang out. Then Sunday I have practice. I'm looking forward to that. *sigh* Can't I just skip this part??