zombievoodoo

I am.

The world is heavy, exhaling its sticky stench down my spine. At the risk of sounding clouded I shall choose my words wisely. Wise, such a word to use when such decisions have been made that are not in fact, wise. Where does a person such as me find release? Is it in a kiss? Is it in a thought or creative moment? Or is my own release in self destruction? Do I see how far I can push the limit to test my strength? If so, Im weak. I dont think I posses the power to do much more than I have already done.

I am an Aquarian.

I am self taught, self arranged, self enslaved and self murdered. The clock is ticking, counting the minutes to a new year. Is it just another day or a chance at redemption? If redemption, consider this a first step. If only a day, consider this nothing more than a waste of time.

I am an Aquarian in Crabs clothing.

I carry so much weight, hold so many secrets and have the answers to no questions. I have no questions for any of your answers. Trust is the key, trust. Such a small word, five little letters that mean more than anything. Five letters Power, Money, Faith, Death and Trust. These are such incredible words.

I have no power, money or faith. I do not fear death nor trust myself. So what does this make me if I am not built this way? I am the enemy to Karma, the slave to hatred and the child of insanity. I am a lost cause without a cause to win. I am simply, here.

With every new love and great hate is born. In this case it is my own self hate. I am not depressed even though I am overly stressed. I am not suicidal even though I am already gone. I shall just be, here. Here, there, nowhere. Fuck Im scattered.

Thats it, Im scattered. To scattered. Ok, I found my answer, I found my direction, all is ok again, all is great, whew.. I got scared there for a moment. Im good now. Im scattered. I need a Xanax