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zombienik_o

Brisbane

Member Since 2009

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Tuesday Aug 10, 2010

Aug 10, 2010
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feeling a little delicate today.

last night was ridiculous at work. i worked about 11.5 hours in gaming on my own, and for gaming it was BUSY! busy bar, busy gaming, plus changing kegs... then before i could do a proper close i got sent upstairs to the other bar to help out for the last half hour. i dind't know where anything was, i couldn't get my wristband to work on the till, and had one of the other bar staff yelling at me like i should have known where everything was. i get that she was just trying to get stuff done and it DID help me learn fast but gaming has only about 1/4 (if that) of what they have upstairs and its NEVER that busy, and it was maybe my 7th shift doing barwork, ever. on top of that i thought i'd only be working till midnight... and i thought there would be more staff working. i'm surprised that they didn't think about how busy it was going to be considering that it was the eve of a brisbane public holiday.
my DM didn't know how to close down gaming and now i'm worried i'm going to get into shit for things not being done properly. my saving grace to last night was adam. he kept his calm with me and didn't treat me like an idiot... unlike someone else on that bar last night. i'm pretty sure he'll never see this but... THANK YOU ADAM!

once i clocked off, i had to wait around for andy to pack up his drums etc. he had a big night and was dicking around, talking to friends and in his playful way, giving me a hard time. i was so over it by then, all i wanted to do was go home and have a hot shower and sleep. yeah right!!! it took almost an hour and a half to pack up his shit and get him in the car. by that stage i had had enough with his jibes and couldn't help but have a bit of a cry. i hate myself for letting myself get to such a point but i simply couldn't help it. all the way home he wanted me to talk about my feelings. ARRRRRGGGGGGH! the upside to that is that he told me he trusts me and feels like he can talk to me about stuff and share his feelings, which he's never felt comfortable doing with anyone before. so i guess that is a good thing.

i've had some stuff on my mind that i'm a bit stressed about. i have to go back to the doc's for some test results that apparently arent 'serious' but i've had iffy results in the past which makes me worry anyways, and i'm worried this time it will be more serious. i have an appointment tomorrow but i've also had about a week to think about it and work myself up about it frown

you'd think after the day i had yesterday that i'd be dog tired... but i can't sleep. feeling really anxious and i keep waking up with mild panic atacks. plus i'm hungry.

i feel really shit today. i hope this mood lifts soon...i have "singing in the rain" to watch and i think i want to cook carbonara but there isn't a big enough pot to cook the pasta here at andy's. fuck. i might go to kmart and pick up a few supplies. comfort food is ace.

if you've made it this far... thanks for listening/reading. i'm sorry it was so long and disjointed... i had to get it out tho.

znpuke
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
ainslie:
Cabonara will make everything better tongue
Aug 10, 2010
haptics:
Sorry about the crappyness my dear, but at least he says he trusts you which should mean a lot (I think)
Are your K-mart 24hrs? We've got one near us and it's awesomesmile
Aug 10, 2010

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