zombiehead2

The rescue team finds the crashed airplane. The lone survivor is chewing on a bone, with a huge pile of human bones next to him, and the rescuers are shocked.
He says, "You can't judge me for this. I had to survive."
The leader of the rescue team says, "But Jesus Christ, man... your plane only went down yesterday."

One day a man opened up a bar but didn't know what to name it so he put up a sign that read "give me a name and i give you a drink."

The next day three man came up to give it a try the first man, not being to smart, said how about "The Bar", he was turned away. The second man, being...
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i like stupid jokes so heres one i just found

Vun day, Sven vas valking down da street ven who did he see driving a brand new Chevrolet? It vas Ole. Ole pulled up to him vit avide smile.

"Ole, vere did you get dat car?" Sven asked
"Lena gave it to me"

She gave it to you? I knew she vas sveet on you,...
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ha ha made you look

loving you is like loving the dead

i fucking hate spiders. one just crawled across my keyboard. and disappeared before i could get rid of it. it wasn't one of those little ones, because then it wouldn't be a big deal. but it was one of those wanna be tarantulas. fast too. damn i hate spiders.

HAHAHAHA HA HA HAHAHAH HA HA HA

doesn't it suck when it feels like you live at work