zombie_love

Lastnight was weird.... Ryan had come back from Edmonton the day before because things didn't turn out well and his dad turned out to be a big cunt.
But pretty much the next day the rest of his family here went all pissy on him and made him feel like shit.
So he called me lastnight when I was visiting my sister and he sounded so depressed.
It was worrisome because he doesn't often get depressed, especially not to that degree.
I succeeded in hightening his mood for a few minutes but it dropped back down pretty fast and he told me that he's going to Ucluelet to find work at a fish plant. I felt bad...
He aspires to do so much more, but keeps getting pushed back down. I really do admire his perseverance though and I hope things go better for him and he gets to make something of himself one day.

It was wierd while he was in town for a few days... I felt so much more secure and truely missed him alot more ... I think that the idea that there is a chance that I could get to see him makes it more difficult, since I didn't get to.
I mean, I miss him all the time when he's gone, especially since he's been gone almost a month, but I get used to it...
And then when he comes back, I'm wierd and distant, but this didn't feel like that at all because I knew he was close...

I have no idea if I make any sense, but it does in my head.... kind of.

However, despite my worrying and missing him, I am in quite an alright mood. I don't know if it's all the chocolate I've been eating, or what, but I feel very optomistic and at the moment, I pretty much love everything... Especially Jessyka


edit/ So Ryan decided not to go to Ucluelet and will be going to a fish plant in town because they've gotten less bad. yay.
I got to see him tonight and it was good.