zombie33

So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish

well, it's been a fun 3ish years here. been some good times. i had a blast on the silliness boards. i had a shitload of fun in Magic Camp with all you folks!! i met some awesome folks, and i met someone really fucking special too, who i really really fucking miss, and i'll be stuck wondering what the fuck happened for the rest of my time.

however, all good things must end. in my case, always much quicker than they should. happiness is a tough customer. it has always eluded me. i found it once, and it slipped away before i could really enjoy it. i could be bitter and feel sorry for myself, but what good will that do me? so, i move on. i wouldn't mind staying on here, but it reminds me of those happy times, and my life has become a fucked up emotional roller coaster lately, and logging in here just hurts. i've lost every shred of self-confidence i ever had, and i'm not sure where life is going to take me. i've lost my spiritual beliefs that i've held for years, because the things i believed betrayed my heart. i looked too deep into what things must mean in life....never stopping to realize, some shit is just a big coincidence, and not everything happens for a reason. sometimes the trials we face in life don't teach us anything, they're just simply shit that happens. as my grandfather, my mentor told me as he slowly withered and died for several months; "Jason, sometimes you gotta throw your hands up in the air and say, 'fuck everything'. because in the end, nothing really meant a goddamn thing except the things that made you happy."

Koyote, Donner, Casper; thanks for the kind words on the last blog. and keep running the silliness action.

take care everyone. my account doesn't expire for a while..can't remember when actually...but i doubt i'll return here.

peace