it was raining last night. that helps me sleep. i swear klonopin is a placebo.
yeah, sometimes i have insomnia. i used to take xanax for it. haha. can't do THAT anymore. so i guess i'll just do without sleep. sometimes.
that's one of the oldest forms of torture; you know. sleep deprivation.
*sighh* if it weren't for this sick obsession with the Twilight saga, i might be upset. have you read Twilight? no? do. i personally insist. i would lend you my copy but i don't think you could pry it from my fingers.
so do vampires exist? sure. i think so. why not? i can't with absolute certainty say "no", so... sure. i choose to believe that they do. what the hell. people have certainly chosen stranger things to believe in.
haha. do i believe in God? ummm.... that's a slippery question. i think i'm gonna dodge that one.
but i believe that there is a Heaven, so i MUST believe in some sort of omniscient deity. yes; i strongly believe in Heaven. and i KNOW without a doubt that there is a hell.
sometimes i wonder what exactly would happen if the Fallen Angel *Lucifer... the bearer of light, incidentally* were to change his ways and return to God and beg forgiveness. "and a light shineth in the darkness, and the darkness comprehended it not."
-the Gospel according to St. John 1:5.
strange.
been trying to wrap my mind around the concept of eternity and forever and infinity. every once in a while something happens and triggers this. and i go mad for a few months trying and failing to figure it all out.
i wonder what my thread looks like in the Fates loom. who can say it doesn't exist? i wonder where it's leading. where i am destined to go. i believe in destiny and fate. absolutely. i believe in angels. i wish i could see them.
hmm. maybe i have. how would i know? of course; if they appeared in their angelic forms, i would be terrified.. but maybe possibly they can appear in human forms if circumstances call for it.
i wonder if i have a guardian angel. if i do, i imagine i must be something of a disappointment.
can angels feel disappointment? love for creatures like us? can they despise us? or are we just sort of cattle to them?
i wish i knew more about these things.
but if i did, well... it probably wouldn't help with my insomnia problems.
i really need to procure a job. when i am working i have less time to consider these things. and that's for the best. when i have a job, i find my mind is often happy to bitch and moan about my coworkers and my boss and the work i have to do... trivial things. small things. i can.. well.. not FORGET the Big Picture, but i can shove it aside to make room for the daily grind. idle hands are the devil's playground.
or something like that, anyway.
oh shoot. i'm running out of cigarettes.
*grumble grumble*
nomnomnom. yeah. i AM that hardcore. i EAT my nicotine. RAW. i drawed this in the wee hours the night before last. i love this set (Jinkies!) and i love this shot of Keely and Elsie.
yeah, sometimes i have insomnia. i used to take xanax for it. haha. can't do THAT anymore. so i guess i'll just do without sleep. sometimes.
that's one of the oldest forms of torture; you know. sleep deprivation.
*sighh* if it weren't for this sick obsession with the Twilight saga, i might be upset. have you read Twilight? no? do. i personally insist. i would lend you my copy but i don't think you could pry it from my fingers.
so do vampires exist? sure. i think so. why not? i can't with absolute certainty say "no", so... sure. i choose to believe that they do. what the hell. people have certainly chosen stranger things to believe in.
haha. do i believe in God? ummm.... that's a slippery question. i think i'm gonna dodge that one.
but i believe that there is a Heaven, so i MUST believe in some sort of omniscient deity. yes; i strongly believe in Heaven. and i KNOW without a doubt that there is a hell.
sometimes i wonder what exactly would happen if the Fallen Angel *Lucifer... the bearer of light, incidentally* were to change his ways and return to God and beg forgiveness. "and a light shineth in the darkness, and the darkness comprehended it not."
-the Gospel according to St. John 1:5.
strange.
been trying to wrap my mind around the concept of eternity and forever and infinity. every once in a while something happens and triggers this. and i go mad for a few months trying and failing to figure it all out.
i wonder what my thread looks like in the Fates loom. who can say it doesn't exist? i wonder where it's leading. where i am destined to go. i believe in destiny and fate. absolutely. i believe in angels. i wish i could see them.
hmm. maybe i have. how would i know? of course; if they appeared in their angelic forms, i would be terrified.. but maybe possibly they can appear in human forms if circumstances call for it.
i wonder if i have a guardian angel. if i do, i imagine i must be something of a disappointment.
can angels feel disappointment? love for creatures like us? can they despise us? or are we just sort of cattle to them?
i wish i knew more about these things.
but if i did, well... it probably wouldn't help with my insomnia problems.
i really need to procure a job. when i am working i have less time to consider these things. and that's for the best. when i have a job, i find my mind is often happy to bitch and moan about my coworkers and my boss and the work i have to do... trivial things. small things. i can.. well.. not FORGET the Big Picture, but i can shove it aside to make room for the daily grind. idle hands are the devil's playground.
or something like that, anyway.
oh shoot. i'm running out of cigarettes.
*grumble grumble*
nomnomnom. yeah. i AM that hardcore. i EAT my nicotine. RAW. i drawed this in the wee hours the night before last. i love this set (Jinkies!) and i love this shot of Keely and Elsie.
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