zombette

what can i say?
i took a risk. i took a chance.
what can i say in my defense?
that ten years ago we had a relationship.
we were together for four years. we had something.
but time has a way of distorting things
and sometimes you only remember what you want to remember.
what can i say?
that i emailed him over a year ago and we began telling each other things?
what can i say?
that he told me i was the only girl he ever loved.
and all he has wanted all these years was to have another chance with me.
he came here to visit over christmas.
he lives in delaware.
he told me he was single. that he loved me.
he did things to me.
and i did things to him.
i trusted him because i wanted to so badly, you see.
do you see?
he is a liar. he is in a relationship. he is a cheater.
he knew everything. everything that i have been through.
because i laid all my cards on the table and left nothing up my sleeve.
because when i trust you with my life, i do it for a reason.
i believe what you say.
he knew about my uncles death..
and my situation with my father..
and my grandmothers failing health.
he knew everything about me because i wanted to hold nothing back.
there can be no relationship without trust.
without honesty, all that is left are lies.
he listened so well. such sympathy behind those eyes.
and out of spite, cruelty, inhumanity
he lured me into his bed and used my own feelings against me.
like a trap.
like revenge.
for his benefit.
i feel sick.
i hope his girl knows what she is in for.
because i do.
pain.
pain.
pain.
i escaped a marriage a few months ago
from a man who used my feelings and my heart
and my love
against me.
and alan said he wanted to kill him for what he had done to me.
but the two are the same.
different faces
but both monsters in sheeps clothing.
i hope his girl knows what she is up against.
pain.