ok first the coool news; YAY MY SET GOT ACCEPTED AND NOW I JUST HAVE TO WAIT FOR IT TO BE QUEUED!! and traceys mom has asked me to paint a portrait of her (she offered to supply everything i need; canvas, paints, brushes, etc) AND she offered me $400 for the job!! 
have i mentioned tracey is one of my best friends and i just love her mom to bits and pieces?? i am mentioning it now. what with the check that will be coming for this new set and the $400 when i do the portrait; this should get me out of this deep, dark hole i am in right now financially. THATS the good news. THATS the AWESOME news.
the sorta bad news is i just discovered Facebook and my (ex)husband and i sorta poked each other and today he sent me this message 'i love you but i dont really like you. do you have a phone number? can you call me? i want to yell at you. you wear too much makeup. i wanted to say that in case you never speak to me again.'
that made me feel really shitty. REALLY shitty. like i dont know why i accepted his friend request in the first place; i have no idea what i was thinking. i just should have left it alone. i go to court next month for the divorce and i guess 30 days from that its final. i just really believed he was the One and i am having such a hard time getting over it. and i thought i WAS over it.
this is stupid. im being stupid. i need to delete him from my friends. thats what i should do. the last actual thing he said to me in person was 'Im sorry i did to you whats been done to me.' totally emotionless. i was crying. because one person always loves more than the other in a relationship. because he always had me on a string. because he had my heart and he used and abused and trampled it and didnt give a fuck.
its raining here. that sucks. i like rain, dont get me wrong, but i wanted to go for a walk and get a coffee and... just walk. maybe i will find an umbrella and do that.
maybe a coffee will make me feel better.
the past is past.
its better left back there.
good advice. i hope i can take it.
have i mentioned tracey is one of my best friends and i just love her mom to bits and pieces?? i am mentioning it now. what with the check that will be coming for this new set and the $400 when i do the portrait; this should get me out of this deep, dark hole i am in right now financially. THATS the good news. THATS the AWESOME news.
the sorta bad news is i just discovered Facebook and my (ex)husband and i sorta poked each other and today he sent me this message 'i love you but i dont really like you. do you have a phone number? can you call me? i want to yell at you. you wear too much makeup. i wanted to say that in case you never speak to me again.'
that made me feel really shitty. REALLY shitty. like i dont know why i accepted his friend request in the first place; i have no idea what i was thinking. i just should have left it alone. i go to court next month for the divorce and i guess 30 days from that its final. i just really believed he was the One and i am having such a hard time getting over it. and i thought i WAS over it.
this is stupid. im being stupid. i need to delete him from my friends. thats what i should do. the last actual thing he said to me in person was 'Im sorry i did to you whats been done to me.' totally emotionless. i was crying. because one person always loves more than the other in a relationship. because he always had me on a string. because he had my heart and he used and abused and trampled it and didnt give a fuck.
its raining here. that sucks. i like rain, dont get me wrong, but i wanted to go for a walk and get a coffee and... just walk. maybe i will find an umbrella and do that.
maybe a coffee will make me feel better.
the past is past.
its better left back there.
good advice. i hope i can take it.
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Also congrats on the commission! That's incredible
As for your ex husband - sometimes we do ridiculous things like give people the benefit of the doubt - especially where the heart is involved. Be strong, delete him - remove him from your life.
You don't need him beating you down. You're above that.
x x x
BRS