what a fucked up day. what a fucked up life.
why do i have this knack for falling backward upside down and winding up on my knees for the affection of something i can never have? is it ingrained in me somehow, somewhere?
do i have a big sign on my forehead that says 'Easy Prey'?
i bet i do. not in permanent marker or anything, but its there. and the right individuals can spot it a mile off.
its moments like this that i just want to lay down and say Fuck it; im done. i quit.
everything.
everything is worse when you are alone.
i dont know who my friends are anymore.
i feel like ive been hollowed out. shell-shock. i feel very empty.
it certainly is bizarre how within a space of 24 hours you can go from racing heartbeat and butterflies to just... feeling...
i dont know the right words.
i dont know anything. i pretend sometimes, but i dont know shit.
forgive me; im in a cynical, pessimistic, lost sort of mood. we all have these days. dont hold it against me.
why do i have this knack for falling backward upside down and winding up on my knees for the affection of something i can never have? is it ingrained in me somehow, somewhere?
do i have a big sign on my forehead that says 'Easy Prey'?
i bet i do. not in permanent marker or anything, but its there. and the right individuals can spot it a mile off.
its moments like this that i just want to lay down and say Fuck it; im done. i quit.
everything.
everything is worse when you are alone.
i dont know who my friends are anymore.
i feel like ive been hollowed out. shell-shock. i feel very empty.
it certainly is bizarre how within a space of 24 hours you can go from racing heartbeat and butterflies to just... feeling...
i dont know the right words.
i dont know anything. i pretend sometimes, but i dont know shit.
forgive me; im in a cynical, pessimistic, lost sort of mood. we all have these days. dont hold it against me.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
I have the same sign on my forehead.
I always want what I can't have, and can't have what I want.
Take my sham of a marriage. I don't want it, so everything is fine.
I want love, so I can't find it because I'm married. Even if by some miracle I did find love, I couldn't have it because I'm still married.
I was meeting someone from here on SG at the end of the month, and I really like this guy, but suddenly I find out I Can't have sex. I guess that's a good thing because really I would rather take things slowly and make even the holding hands point a big deal again, like it was when I was younger.
It's part of the human condition I guess. All of us want what we can't have, and the things we really want, avoid us until we think it's too late. (ie; looking for your keys and not finding them until you're late for your interview)
I understand.