my life is a story. ive said it and said it, and ill keep saying it. its a story and im the main character. i just have to keep smiling when things get bad and pretend the cameras are on me and everythings fine. even when im having a terrible day and im tired and i need a cigarette, i need to perfect that talent of keeping the mask on. because im sick to death of everyone asking if i am ok.
NEVER ask me if i am ok.
chances are, im probably not; but chances also are that you dont really want to hear a sob story, either, so just give me a hug instead. that will cheer me up much more than another pointless 'are you ok'.
another thing i despise is when you greet someone and they beat you to it and say 'hows it going?' or 'howya doin?'
i never know how to respond to that. its such a casual question. the interrogator obviously doesnt care to hear how im doing, so how is one supposed to respond? 'fine?' thats so lame. in my opinion, 'fine' and 'sorry' are the two most used words in the english language; and the two most MISused words. if you ask how someone is doing and they answer 'fine', its a lie. nobody is 'fine.'
and it is extremely rare for a person who is sincerely apologizing for something they did wrong to say 'sorry' and mean it.
and phrases overused to the point of being beaten into the ground? 'i love you' comes immediately to mind. i never say it unless i mean it. fortunately, i love a lot of people. a lot more people than i did when i was married.
whats the difference between Love and Infatuation and Obsession? are they all the same thing? or is Love some separate category all of its own that i just havent experienced yet? or maybe i have. i dont know. i guess thats why im asking.
im tired and my back hurts. i was on my feet for five hours today doing updos. some girl came in with her entourage; celebration for a sweet sixteen, and ALL ten or so of them needed updos.
christ, youre turning 16, youre not a bride. anyway, im a perfectionist to the core, so i take my sweet time with haircuts and updos and color because EVERY STRAND OF HAIR has to be in the right place. and now my back is killing me. linsey and others have suggested better shoes, insisting that the arch support and inserts and super special sole will help my back somehow. i dont know about that. i am skeptical. and i like my converse, thank you very much. my converse and i have been through a lot together.
anyway, i dont really NEED new shoes at the moment, so im going to let that sit and digest for a while. i hate shoe shopping if its for athletic shoes. if im shopping for stilettos, platforms, open-toe or peep-toe maryjanes, strappy heels, five inch vinyl boots with a variety of nonsensical buckles and zippers; THAT i love. but tennis shoes? boring. booorrring.
i wish i could get everything on my wishlist. id be a happy fucking girl.
NEVER ask me if i am ok.
chances are, im probably not; but chances also are that you dont really want to hear a sob story, either, so just give me a hug instead. that will cheer me up much more than another pointless 'are you ok'.
another thing i despise is when you greet someone and they beat you to it and say 'hows it going?' or 'howya doin?'
i never know how to respond to that. its such a casual question. the interrogator obviously doesnt care to hear how im doing, so how is one supposed to respond? 'fine?' thats so lame. in my opinion, 'fine' and 'sorry' are the two most used words in the english language; and the two most MISused words. if you ask how someone is doing and they answer 'fine', its a lie. nobody is 'fine.'
and it is extremely rare for a person who is sincerely apologizing for something they did wrong to say 'sorry' and mean it.
and phrases overused to the point of being beaten into the ground? 'i love you' comes immediately to mind. i never say it unless i mean it. fortunately, i love a lot of people. a lot more people than i did when i was married.
whats the difference between Love and Infatuation and Obsession? are they all the same thing? or is Love some separate category all of its own that i just havent experienced yet? or maybe i have. i dont know. i guess thats why im asking.
im tired and my back hurts. i was on my feet for five hours today doing updos. some girl came in with her entourage; celebration for a sweet sixteen, and ALL ten or so of them needed updos.
christ, youre turning 16, youre not a bride. anyway, im a perfectionist to the core, so i take my sweet time with haircuts and updos and color because EVERY STRAND OF HAIR has to be in the right place. and now my back is killing me. linsey and others have suggested better shoes, insisting that the arch support and inserts and super special sole will help my back somehow. i dont know about that. i am skeptical. and i like my converse, thank you very much. my converse and i have been through a lot together.
anyway, i dont really NEED new shoes at the moment, so im going to let that sit and digest for a while. i hate shoe shopping if its for athletic shoes. if im shopping for stilettos, platforms, open-toe or peep-toe maryjanes, strappy heels, five inch vinyl boots with a variety of nonsensical buckles and zippers; THAT i love. but tennis shoes? boring. booorrring.
i wish i could get everything on my wishlist. id be a happy fucking girl.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
it's good to be real with yourself.
xo