fuck this is better than myspace. at least i can avoid all the people i dont like.
i just clicked on my own set in the hopefuls section and viewed it for the first time and goddamnit its BACKWARD. all the pictures should be reversed so the last one with me wearing jeans and staring at the camera should be no. 1, the one with me reading 'strip city' should be no. 2 etc etc... i do everything wrong. im proud of myself that i managed to get it all winzipped and sent properly, but fuck. now i look even LESS proficient.
not that im saying im a perfectionist or anything.
god no.
perish the thought.
im still hoping to hear from allison soon. in the meantime, im rereading abarat (clive barker). i lent it to my best friend a couple years ago and just recently got it back from the tattoo artist who apprenticed her. she lent it to him, you see, and as he was working on my shoulder, he gave it back to me for which i am very grateful because otherwise all i do is sleep, mostly.
my days off are hell. minutes stretch to hours, hours feel like months.
and believe it or not, all this free time with no company but the things in my head gets old.
i wish my husband didnt live so goddamn far away.
some days i wish a lot of things had never happened. i cant help it. you know those people who live saying they have no regrets, that they regret nothing, that every stupid fucked up mistake made them who they are so whats the point wasting time mourning what they did wrong?
im not one of those people.
i live my LIFE mourning my life.
on one level i know how stupid this is, because instead of taking steps to repair and reshape my own fucking future, im just laying down and giving up and allowing my past to suffocate and drown me.
see? im not dumb.
or maybe i am.
i can sure talk a good game, though. and im great at giving advice. i just suck at taking it.
pity.
i just clicked on my own set in the hopefuls section and viewed it for the first time and goddamnit its BACKWARD. all the pictures should be reversed so the last one with me wearing jeans and staring at the camera should be no. 1, the one with me reading 'strip city' should be no. 2 etc etc... i do everything wrong. im proud of myself that i managed to get it all winzipped and sent properly, but fuck. now i look even LESS proficient.
not that im saying im a perfectionist or anything.
god no.
perish the thought.
im still hoping to hear from allison soon. in the meantime, im rereading abarat (clive barker). i lent it to my best friend a couple years ago and just recently got it back from the tattoo artist who apprenticed her. she lent it to him, you see, and as he was working on my shoulder, he gave it back to me for which i am very grateful because otherwise all i do is sleep, mostly.
my days off are hell. minutes stretch to hours, hours feel like months.
and believe it or not, all this free time with no company but the things in my head gets old.
i wish my husband didnt live so goddamn far away.
some days i wish a lot of things had never happened. i cant help it. you know those people who live saying they have no regrets, that they regret nothing, that every stupid fucked up mistake made them who they are so whats the point wasting time mourning what they did wrong?
im not one of those people.
i live my LIFE mourning my life.
on one level i know how stupid this is, because instead of taking steps to repair and reshape my own fucking future, im just laying down and giving up and allowing my past to suffocate and drown me.
see? im not dumb.
or maybe i am.
i can sure talk a good game, though. and im great at giving advice. i just suck at taking it.
pity.
imhc:
Seems like lots of 'hopeful' sets get rearanged by the site backwards, so I don't think it's your fault. Seems like a common occurance, so I'd say don't sweat it.
