zilchtastic

Fuck yes, I am a rockstar.



And don't you dare forget it.


I think I've been wasting most of my eloquence on MySpace and LiveJournal lately, thus why my posts here are sporadic and mostly... dumb. LJ I use for the fanfic, the picspams, the memes; MySpace I use (nowadays, at least) for the angry rants and the hurt-feeling missives I don't want my LJ friends to read. I'm so rollercoaster lately it's not even funny-- I'm happy and cheerful, for the most part, but crises with friends and unexpected anger and personal frustration keeps catching me by surprise. I want so badly to be noticed, but isn't it always when you want people to see you that you seem to be invisible?

And naturally, when you most want to hide, it's like everyone in the world is there to watch you squirm.

I haven't even apped here yet, because my confidence keeps seesawing. I apped once, got through it all, and then had my set REJECTED (deservedly so, I will admit). But that was over a year ago, and they've really upped the photoset standards since. I get down, and then I think, "There's no way I'll ever get in."

Low self-confidence is just the hardest thing to lick, I tell ya.