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zilchtastic

Excruciatingly Average, USA

Member Since 2004

Followers 37 Following 32

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Tuesday Jul 25, 2006

Jul 25, 2006
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In the Jhonen Vasquez comic I Feel Sick, there's this scene where the main character is working in a bookstore. A customer comes to the counter to ask if they have a certain book. She inquires as to the book's title, and the customer replies, "I don't know. I think it was blue."

This was funny to me not because of the absurdity, but because of the TRUTH. I have actually had customers say things like that to me. "What's the book called?" "I don't remember..." "Okaaay.... What's it ABOUT?" "I don't know. But I remember it had an orange cover, and was about five inches high...."

Okay, sir. Hang on for about a week while I tirelessly scour the shelves for orange books of a certain size. I will form them into a pile for you, and then you can stare at them in consternation because you still don't remember which one it was.

I always want to ask them, If you don't know what the book is about, how do you know you want it? But for some reason I'm not allowed to use my smartass superpowers at work. Something about "customer service". Nevermind that I can't HELP half these people because they don't know-- or won't TELL me-- what they want.

I had another woman who would only tell me the title of a book, which was very vague. It was called "Help For Men" or something like that, and could've been anything from a book on dating to a book on prostate cancer. So I asked her what it was about.

"Oh, you know," she said, gesturing angrily. "It's about help for male problems."

And maybe I'm stupid, and should've gotten what she meant right there, but sadly I didn't. "You mean like a self help book? Relationships? Life stuff?"

"No! You know what, nevermind, I'll get someone else." And then she stormed off, muttering "stupid little..." under her breath, as if it was my fault I couldn't find her this book that she refused to give me any info on.

It turned out finally (from a coworker) that it was a book on erectile dysfunction. Why the hell didn't she just SAY that? Embarrassment be damned. If you're going to have to take it to the check-out counter anyway, people are going to know you're not buying it just for a fun read, so you might as well describe it right when you're too stupid to figure out which section it would be in and you're asking for help.

Better yet, figure out what you're looking for and where it may be BEFORE you get to the bookstore. The shelves have these helpful little subject headings on them just so you can find things without having to ask anyone. It's called 'being independent'. You can drive a car. You can dress yourself. You can tie your own shoes. Why not try finding your book yourself if you don't want the embarrassment of being helped?

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