zezoner

I recieved this query from my homie reever at the most oportune/inopertune time? Life works like that i guess?

i was just curiouse , and im not trying to put any drama in your life but,
i was wondering , sence you have prior knowlege of NICOLE , you have known her longer than i , " is this woman worth the drama and pain im STILL going through ? should i just be glad she is gone ...? becouse she still calls me and keeps in a morbid sort of contact with me , and , wel , i do still, unfortunantly love her , so im in that perral , and i could use some outside advice...

what do you think?

reEve

My answer was this and i will try to tell you why in a minute..

Yo homie women are a pit of darkness and despair that is infinite, Always have yer fuckin mining helmet on bro. I get a sick feeling when I think about all the shit I have been through with females. The sad part is we are not much better. Man I love every single woman I have ever touched my lips/and or as well as my cock to. I hurt everytime i see them with another man. I wish I could someday find the jewel. I keep up hope for that. The one woman who will fill this gaping fucking hole in my soul. I am not sure any one female could do that though. She would have to be she hulk combined with fucking godzilla or some shit. Hey good luck keep loving her. She is an insatiable woman driven by lust. I know because i am the same way bro and I can identify that shit from 50 miles away.. The thing is you need to identify the darkness inside of you and make sure your not being hipocritical in your judgments. Sorry if i am on a tyraid. I am going through it with women right now too. Laters ZEZ

I was checking out my ex wifes myspace profile cause she told me she posted some pics of her school buddies. I am a jealous bastard! Why should i be? it really is completly hipocritical to be so in our situation. You see like the return email to my buddie reeve states. i am an emotional black hole. I use sex with women to validate my being/importance. I am fucking needy, selfish and a piece of shit. My wife couldnt fill my void. My mining helmet wasnt enough. Because it did not shine on me. I have tunnel vision the tunnel being vagina and or relationships and or love. Love is the most scary and evol emotion there is. I find myself falling for a woman and BAM I am a fucking basket case. Jelous, lying, sneaky bastard. Man I wish it was different/better/normal... Fuck if you new what I had been through as a child you might even feel sorry for me. As an alcoholic/drug addict thats been sober for awhile i cant use my childhood as an excuse. I gotta live for right now. My kids are depending on me. My ex is depending on me. Fuck i am depending on me. I gotta pull myself up by my boot straps and get busy livin!!! Man I hope the best for reeve and nicole. They are my friends. I got alot of friends in relationships that are going through it right now. Unfortunatly none of them really get it (like I do?) Love is not only blind it is blinding! Life is short, we are imperfect and prone to vital mistakes that effect each other emotionally. We gotta do our best to be here for each other and protect one another. I have been in the gutter and its not a fun place to be. I cant tell you the secret cause I dont know, So fuck it get busy livin or get busy dyin! carpe diem bitches, carpe diem