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zepp101

Elizabeth

Member Since 2007

Followers 111 Following 270

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Monday Mar 10, 2008

Mar 10, 2008
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First and foremost ...I WISH I HAD A FUCKIN CIGARETTE.

Damn this addiction and me not being able to feed it.

ok... next on the list...4 things I love right now (and usually do at any other given time)

1.) Tarantino films...each and every one of them. I'm not going to go into some long and deep tangent about why and how I believe his movies are fuck-all but his camera angles, the dialogue, the music for fuck sake....I have to breathe deeply.

2.) Nine Inch Nails...again won't get far too deep into it.. but on many levels...for soo many reasons....That man's music means something to me and gets me through alot as it has for soo many years now...

4.)My dog Kiara...she's been dead for about 3 years now but I stilll miss the fluffy fatty since the day she was gone....I wish she was here laying right beside me.

3.) Sleep....never have enough of it even when I'm in mid dream...it's a crazy thing when your "reality" in your dreams are far better then reality hence the saying "what dreams are made of" I suppose.

Things aren't the greatest right now, but neither the worst. I let go of someone today...someone that cared alot, who was patient, who would have been there...I let go for a number of reasons....most of them selfish naturally...but what it boiled down to was the fact that I never wanted to lead anyone on.

Everything comes round -a-bout in the form of a cycle. The Ying yang, the recycling symbol...everything eveything. Think of the food chain cycle....the work lives and eats the dirt...the grass grows in the dirt...the grass is then munched on by the cow...and the cow gets abducted and taken to the abattior and slaughterd and eventually ends up in your intestines...for long then you'd care to know.

Rejection is never good on both parts (usually) it's guilt ridden when you do it and its a million times worse if you get the axe. I also talked to someone from the past today and more so then ever I've come to realize that that is exactly what I have become to this person.. The person I spent such a great part of my life with and have shared soo much with. And to know that I'm finally out of their system and have kicked the addiction hurts more so now then ever, Regardless of how much times has passed and have infrequent contact has become...we we do get into contact...I'm back six-feet-under....Hence the analogy of the cycle...

At this point I think I'm the blade of grass.. self medication is golden "it's fuckin clutch man". Work in about 3 and a half hours...I don't type enough so here I am...where the hell am I?

codeine dreams and nicotine withdrawals.....

"My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them."
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
dorsal:
ive never heard a jersey accent before, i want to hear one! smile
yea any print from either adore or hideaway
Mar 12, 2008
emmy:
biggrin thankyou Sweetie ^_^ x
Mar 15, 2008

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