zeozaki

God my mind is so fucked up right now.

I don't understand why. It's hurts so bad. I've had a really great days too. I have no reason to be like this but i can't stop it. It physically hurts. I like to listen to music but this voice in my head it continues to fuss at me it. It continue to tell me what an awful person i am.

I try to listen to music but after i know the lyrics i don't hear the music anymore. that's why i like japanese music it's harder remember the lyrics. But the past couples days i've had no problems memorizing entire songs in my head. When i do that and i listen to the music I don't hear it. I don't! i don't understand it just continues fuss at me.

So i try to watch tv. Once i've seen it it continues to fuss at me. Even if i watch newer episodes i find my self just drowning out the show. There's been new episods of Rozen Maiden and Mahou Sentai Magiranger. During both of them i went into a spell i can't even tell you how they ended. I was trapt so quick I don't know why i don't know.

it hurts so much. I can't wait till this all over. Pain has to leave sometime i don't understand why i have theses trips but they have to leave me sooner or later right? but god I just don't know. It is so sttressing. I can't stand it. I just

I have to focus ... I do Ok gotta think about other things. heater called me, my friends sister. she brought the wrong hd aasked if i could get it from her so i did. let's see. what else.

Tommorow i'm going to see Dr. Clark. I figure i might wanna get a physical done seeing i haven't been to the doctors in ages. I I.