zenobia

Finally home from work. I'm soooo tired. We were short staffed at my medical job(the one i've had for three years) because they just fired one of the cna's. That was crazy shit because she has been there for almost 16yrs and we thought they would never fire her even though she has been in a lot of trouble. I was running late to my other job because I forgot my dancing clothes at the house. Then I get a call from my grandparents saying that if I really needed money that I could have just called them. At first I was kind of confused so I asked them what they were talking about. Then my grandmother made a comment about how she could never picture me taking my clothes off for money. So I had to explain to them that the club pays me and several other people to dance and get the crowd hype and make them(the club) look good........ I did leave out the part about it being a gay club and that the boys usually end up in a "man thong" by the end of the night. That stripping was not invovled and I keep ALL of my clothes on. I guess when my mom said go-go dancer they assumed stripper who knows.

At least I have all day monday off because i'm super tired.

So who has the magic solution on how to love someone but not be in love with them. This is my punishment for cracking jokes about laura being in love with graham. Believe me it was not what I wanted or how I wanted it to happen. I've definitely taken steps to move past the in love part but alas I have failed. I've been keeping busy. Writing which normally helps me work through things. I've gone on plenty of dates...of course they just don't compare. I've had the my "oil checked" a couple of times...anna not included because for me sex with girls is different then sex with guys. So far last time I checked nothing had changed still in love with someone who is in no way and never will be in love with me. I just need to figure out how to keep the friendship(which is so awesome and wouldn't trade it for anything) and get rid of the feelings and then everything would be great. I guess it's not really a problem because I told him once and I will never tell him again. I mean i'm not a glutton for punishment and saying it the first(and last) time was difficult enough there is no way in hell i'm putting myself through that again.

Oh well I need to hit the shower and go to bed so I can do it all again tomorrow. Thanks for listening to all my bitching

I forgot the to mention the best part of my weekend. New piercing and it's damn hot. God i'm a sexy bitch