zenobia

The past couple of days have been pretty uneventful. That is a good thing for me. Life was starting to get a little to wild again. I took a break from party girl for a reason and found myself slipping back into that a little bit to easily. Not the drug part but the staying up all night and drinking way to much. So now is i'll take a break for awhile. Shed some really close friends and still not sure how I feel about it. Sometimes to much has changed and there is nothing left to relate to. Not living in a cloud of drugs and alcohol makes life a little less complicated. When I look back I see the happy times we had together. There are tons of good memories. But mostly when I look back I see paranoia, depression, pain, guilt, and grief. I went on a four month binge of ingesting everything I could and then pushing my body way past what it should have been able to handle. I wasn't alone though and so it didn't seem abnormal. We were all pushing the limits together. Eventually it became us against the sober people and we pretty much spent all of our time holed up in a windowless room together. You get to know people pretty well when you spend five out of seven days locked up in room with them. Yes, they helped me through some rough times but they also helped drag me into even rougher times. I'll miss them but there comes a time when you have to let go. There may come a time when we will all be friends again but it just can't be right now. I didn't mean to start down that road but.....

Went to see Ray with Pavlovsdog and theseeman. It was good times. Grabbed a couple of beers with pav afterwards and passed the time talking his head off.....sorry next time I won't be so damn talkative Thanks boys I had a great time and it helped to let go of the stress of life for awhile. Hope to do it again soon.

mrMiah....no need to be jealous in the south. that was just a warm up to the big event. play your cards right and you'll have an active part in the big event

Thats all folks