zenobia

I once again just had delirously satisfying sex. So as soon as I got into my car I decided that it had to be the last time. I have to go back to no sex until I can get back to get it in, bust a nut, and take your ass home. No waking up with them in the morning. It's not just the waking up with them in the morning but the i'm happy to wake up with them that is not cool. No talking afterwards, no cuddling, no hand holding. Just sex plain and simple. Don't really know what is going on in my head, but whatever is going on is very confusing and uncomfortable. I'm all about growing and changing but this is not the right situation for it. Plus I don't like being out of my comfort zone unexpectedly. I don't like opening my mouth and what i'm actually thinking come out. I prefer to open my mouth and some sarcastic bullshit come out. Randy, Kelly, Graham, Lydia, and Holly are the only peopel who are supposed to know whats really going on in my head. And each one of them only knows so much. Except for Randy he knows everything. He has the strange ability to be able to read between the lines; very unsettling. So I really need to talk to Randy, but then again I already know what he would say. I being the stubborn jackass that I am would totally not take his advice.


So now all I have to do is resist the urge to rip his clothes off and jump on his lap next time I see him. Now if I can resist then I know I still have some control left. Now i'm going to bed because I am exhausted.