zenobia

It is finally offical. Randy is moving to africa on nov 8, 2004. I didn't think he would be leaving so soon. I am heartbroken I love him so so so much. I'm not in love with him because we are just friends but he is one of my best friends. A tragic situation brought together and we've spent thee days per week together ever since. I feel like i'm being ripped in half because part of me is going to leave when he goes. I understand why he is leaving. Part of it is to appreciate what he has blah blah and part of it is to see what it feels like to be in the minority(he is white but that doesn't really matter) which I don't really know why he wants to do that but thats just how he is. Just writing this journal is making me ball because he has became such an important part of my life and we don't have that much time left together. He is my rock and my sounding board . I'm going to miss hugging him and playing with his hair. I'm just going to miss him. Sorry I keep repeating myself over and over again. I'll post some pics of him soon. I won't be posting for awhile because I plan on spending as much time with him as I possibly can. I don't want him to leave and I know that is so selfish. Part of me is so angry that he is leaving. I don't understand why I can't just be happy for him. I will be going to malawi(that is the country he will be living in) six months after he leaves to visit him. oh well i'm going to bed and cry myself to sleep.