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zenntheart0103

small town in CT

Member Since 2004

Followers 7 Following 5

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Wednesday Oct 06, 2004

Oct 6, 2004
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[ "Reading this far you might say, 'You never tried an honest life.' That isn's completely true. It's just that i dont feel the need of telling the dissappointments, the rejections, the accusations I went through trying to maintain steady employment at a legitimate job in your world. When i was working an honest job, I experienced daily the resentment of people who never failed to let me know where I had come from and where they thought i was headed. To fully describe many of those incidents would put me completely out of character. You don't want to read it, and I'm really not into seeing it written down.
I would like to say to you that i did know the difference between right and wrong, and i do know what is expected of an individual in an honest world. But where I am coming from, all i have heard when it really mattered was: ' Get out of my way, kid, i havent got time for you."
Asking me not to break the rules of society is like telling your kid not to eat candy until you take it away, or until you prove why he shouldn't. You also need to provide substitutes for the candy you have denied the child. I was told often enough what was bad, but i was never given a substitute or opportunity to try another world until I had already become so defiant and twisted, I no longer cared about someone else's right or wrong. By then I could not see enough honest faces in the world to pattern myself after. Your bibles didnt mean anything to me. A bible has driven my mother from her home. The people you chose to raise me beat and raped me and taught me hate and fear. From what i have seen throughout my life, the laws of the land are practiced only by the little guy. Those who have money and success abuse every law written and get away with it.
I admit my reasoning comes from the wrong side of the tracks, but once these opinions are formed and reinforced a few times , it is hard to believe otherwise. So even if i don't shed a tear, I console myself: I had some help in becoming the person I am. Yes, I resent the system!]

- an excerpt from Charles Manson in his own Words

<this is why i am a psych major.>

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