zenichols

hope to hear from you soon...you are missed

*edited to go off on a tangent...

when i think about your earlier journals when you speak of wanting to be productive and do/leave something of worth it reminded me of my younger days ( a few years ago). I was a wmn's studies major/asian studies minor learning japanese and focusing on sexual minority issues within the racial minority communities. i wanted to find a bridge btwn black wmn and japn women, become an international social worker (mainly btwn japn and us), and start programs for sexual minority/racial minority women at college campuses (b/c from what i've seen racial/sexual minorities don't really have a specific voice even within the larger LGBTQ communities on campus).

its like when you're young you're filled with all these desires to affect change and for most, life gets in the way. but obviously going from to the military to being a nanny you still are having an impact...from protecting/serving the nation to caring for/teaching the future. and yet it was such a drastic career change but you are following your heart (not to be overly cheesy). it just makes me feel that perhaps some of what i wanted to accomplish back in my idealist days i can have a part in, albeit, in a different way.

one of my friends told me that when he thought of me and what i would do, he always saw me as being a kind of healer and that was one of the best compliments i ever remember receiving. seeing you go back to school, working towards improving yourself and wanting to have a meaniful, positive impact on others makes me remember what it felt like to want the same. so...thank you

[Edited on Apr 30, 2005 10:48AM]

I guess it just seems like now that I am a mother/wife that the dreams I had before I added on these other parts can no longer be priority. I mean, I want to improve myself but I need to make sure that my daughter's foundation is stable and secure. And alot of what I wanted to do seems to require the spontaneity and energy of a single, young person without the responsibilites of a family.

I still do want to help others and go to school. I plan on finishing my degree when I return to the States in Aug/Sept. But, like you said, nothing is ever really easy in life so I suppose I'll have to find another way to accomplish what I want.