zenexistence

I am a terrible blogger as of late.
I keep meaning to be more diligent about my posts here.
I keep meaning to put forth more effort so that I may share my love with all of you.
I keep meaning to masturbate less.
But none of this happens.
just kidding, I don't masturbate.
I don't.
I don't.
No, really, I don't.
No, REALLY, I don't ... tell the truth.
I totally do masturbate.
Who doesn't?
I KNOW you do.
I mistakenly watched you do it through your window the other night.
What?
What?
Like you're shocked?? You all but invited me in by leaving the curtains pulled only 93.2% closed.

Asshole.

"Scotty, speaking over water-tight buttholes, why don't you provide us with pictures of more penguins?"
God, you people are so whiny.
Fine, fine, here:


More? GOD, you are SO needy!

What?
"Oh, Scotty, we miss Star Wars Sundays so much that we wet ourselves consistently and unavoidably!"
Whoa, whoa, whoa, there, cowboy/girl/critter -- your bladder control issues are your own albatross, don't dump that wet little feathered bundle into my ammonia-free lap.
Here, pinch it off and relax:

I hate to say it but it's about time I switch gears around here. I love Star Wars with the heat of one thousand suns (moist, right?) but I've decided that we need Lord of the Rings Sundays so that we can successfully segue-way into Hobbit Holidays that are rapidly approaching. In interest of starting with a bang (nosexplease), I give you:


Sorry, feeling a little mischievous today:

On an honest note, it looks like I've scored acceptance into a school that'll allow me to finish my LPN degree and then transition to an RN degree with an LPN to RN bridge degree. This is good stuff.
We should all dance.
Together.
At the count of seventy-three.
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
Wait, you can't count to seventy-three?
God, you ruin everything.
I'm sorry, sarcasm is my crutch, my Achilles heel, if you will ...


Mmm-mm, I'm hungry. PB&J's with the crust cut off.
Okay, off to eat. I promise I'll make an attempt t more formidable and engaging blog this weekend. Many things to talk about, some of them actually honest and semi-important.

Eye<3ewe,
Scotty

PS -