zenexistence

I haven't been particularly motivated to post as of late. It probably has to do with the myriad gillion of things I'm juggling between work, packing to move, ridiculous amounts of polo and, well, not much in the way of motivation.
My blogging waxes and wanes, especially with SG.
I'm not saying that I'm splitting the site, nossir, I just need a little time to recharge.



I haven't had sushi in weeks. How the fuck has that happened? This is unacceptable.



I keep meaning to go see The Hangover 2 but, well, I'm pretty sure it's just going to be like the original. Again, not motivated.



I've had a wicked craving for seafood lately.
Mad wicked.
Stupid wicked.



I've been reading a lot of travel narratives as of late. I really, really need to get my narrow ass over to Europe and backpack. I keep intending to do this but then other mundane issues rear their ugly craniums and I don't follow through.
Must. rectify.



I've been watching a lot of Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations too. This feeds (ha!) firmly into my urge to travel and my urge to cook. And also feeds my urge to drink and offer liberal doses of sarcasm at all manner of things but, I digress.


Do you ever have those moments with you question your reason for being placed upon this [planet? Truly? Well I have. Very much so as of late. I wonder why I'm here and what important role I'm supposed to play. This may sounds angsty and full of ennui but, well, okay it sorta is BUT I mean it in a positive sense and not a "woe is me" sense. I've just been contemplating what I'm supposed to be doing with my life.
With that said, I have a wonderful lady that I travel to see. She (along with a new job) is why I am relocating to St Louis. She has two brilliant little nerd children, 9 and 11. The older boy is slightly autistic, high-functioning actually. When I first met him I purposely engaged him more directly and, taking a queue from something I saw in his computer room, started a conversation about the Warhammer 40k (a tabletop game of future warfare). Soon we we fast buddies and talk, talk, talk we did.
His Mom later told me that she'd never seen him open up to someone so completely.
When I heard that it caused a lump in my throat.
Interestingly, my father never took any interest in my interests. He is a conservative fellow with a passion for hockey and beer. My artistic pursuits didn't impress him. My cycling pursuits didn't impress him. My want to engage in medieval studies didn't impress him. I know what it's like to grow up somewhat isolated because of obscure interests.
Well, this young fellow has interests in medieval studies, zombies, Warhammer, video games, archery and writing; all things I pursue with a nerdy passion bordering on obsession.
What if he is my reason?
What if he is my calling?

I find the thought exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time.



I think I'm going to take the plunge and go see the new transformers movie. I have it on good opinion that it's a suckfest but giant robots clobbering the shit out of each other is still a pretty awesome spectacle to behold, even if the story has the consistency of wet toilet paper.



I want a goose.

I want a tiger too.


Ooops, that was a T ... I ... double guh ... ER, I mean TIGER!


Yay, much better.

I made whole wheat pasta with vodka sauce tonight. That's not code for I drank a lot while I made spaghetti, mind you, it's an actual premade sauce. I'd much rather make my own sauce but I was so tired from being sauced last night that I had no energy to make any.
Having eaten this sauce I wish I'd taken the time and effort to make my own because it was disappointing.
Plus, I didn't have any vodka anyway.



Okay, I need to digest my sub-par dinner. I should have just had sushi. Or a banana.



Eye<3ewes,
Scotty

PS: