zenexistence

I know, I know, I know -- I've been slacking. This working seven days a week nonsense has put a serious curb on my writing. And my polo. And my sex life.
Wait, I don't currently have a sex life.
Lame.



Saw the surgeon last Sunday, he said the gallbladder needs to come out but I can sorta choose when, as it's just functioning slowly and doesn't have a blockage or anything, so I'm shooting for four weeks from now which is when the Renn Faire ends. I'd hate to miss a weekend of this, I enjoy the drinking, serving and camaraderie too much.
Oh, and the cash is wicked delicious too.



I used to work at Borders Books. I loved the job but the pay was shit so I moved on. I found out that since the company filed for bankruptcy the store that I used to work at (and I have so many fond, fond memories of) is closing.
They'll probably turn it into a mattress warehouse or something, because, as we all know, we really need another mattress warehouse.
This makes me fucking sad.
Speaking of mattresses, a ten year old mattress weighs double what it did when it was new because of the debris which is absorbed throughout the years. That debris includes dust mites (their droppings and their decaying bodies), mold, dead skin cells, dandruff, animal/human hair, secretions, excretions, lint, pollen, dust, soil, sand and perspiration.
Not to mention your love juices.



Hmm, even my pictures are sexually frustrated today:



See what I mean?



I apologize for the lewdness. Here, I give you a rhinoceros:



Wait, can we go back to sexuality? If you say yes I don't want to hear a peep out of you ...



One of the most awkward things ever is to awaken at 5am to say, feed a cat, which we'll name
Bones, and you walk into the completely dark kitchen and see your roommate standing there.
Doing nothing.
I nodded, turned to grab a can of cat food and there's her boyfriend sitting at the other side of the kitchen, in the dark.
Doing nothing.
I nodded (which they probably couldn't see) and said, "Creepy" and walked away.
I later realized that they were arguing.
In the completely dark kitchen.
At 5am.


At 5am.



I have to go to work.









I think you all should send me messages, or condolences, or libations, or creations to help mollify the sense of loss I feel at not being on SG much as of late.
No, srsly, I do.
Do it.
Love me.



Eye<3ewe,
Scotty