zenexistence

I'm pretty sure nothing in life is more awesome than this picture. ^^

Now to move on to sad tidings.
Totally bummed that Leslie Nielsen died.
I mean c'mon, Airplane, The Naked Gun, Airplane 2, The Naked Gun 2 1/2. Nielsen's dead-pan delivery made these movies a riot. So Captain Oveur is dead but that fucked up mutant Carrot Top is still alive?
Life is so supremely unfair that I want to kick it in the mouth.



After I read the headline that he died and I literally stopped what I was doing and yelled at my computer, "What the fuck, what the fuck?!?!"
This hurt my computer's feelings pretty majorly so I had to whisper sweet-nothings to it for a fair amount of time afterward. Eventually my computer forgave me but I was so bummed that I sat around for the rest of the night with the below look on my face:



True story; I STILL expel Airplane quotes with alarming frequency at work. Such as:
Me: "Hi Miss Liverplumbsandwichpants, how's that left knee feeling? The osteoarthritis still acting up?"
Miss L: "Hi Scotty, actually the pains been pretty unbearable as of late."
Me: "Aw, Miss L, that's not what we were hoping to hear. Have you been attending your bi-weekly physical therapy sessions like we scheduled for you?"
Miss L: "Unfortunately, no. I decided to water my rhodedendrums instead. You know how I love plants."
Me: "Ah, yes, Miss L, also probably not the best time for you to have quit sniffing glue."
Miss L: "I'm sorry?"
Me: "I said, 'Ah, yes, probably not the best time to quit drinking Mountain Dew,' Miss L."
Miss L: "Ohhhhhh! Wait. I never drank Mountain Dew, Scotty."
Me: "Well there's no time like the present to acquire adult-onset diabetes, Miss L!"
Miss L: "I'm sorry Scotty, what was that?"
Me: "I said, 'No time like the present to hire abrupt Narragansett flying feeties!"
Miss L: "I don't understand."
Me: "None of us us do, Miss L, none of us do."

Surprisingly, patients love me. I haven't figured out why. I've ended up being quite the elderly-lady chick magnet. This also surprises me because I'm not the most obedient individual. I kind of chafe when told what to do.



Sometimes they patients bring us sweets. Or pies.
Or cake.
I'm a pie person at heart but I totally wouldn't kick a good piece of cake out of bed.



We have a few surgeons that I work with that don't allow gifts or snacks or other items.
This I do not comprehend.
If someone goes out of their way to make you something in a show of appreciation for your services you take the goddamn thing, you smile, you express significant amounts of gratitude.
To deny them the satisfaction of delivering a product specifically made or purchased for you by saying no is like spitting in their face.
I'll never understand some peoples way of thinking.
I'll never understand such a base difference in personal perceptions.



Somehow today has turned into an animal picture extravaganza.
I'm okay with this.
I'm going to go have a drink and write some more ...



And probably have some snacks ...



Because I'm pretty dead tired ...



... so sleep can't be far away.



I'll provide something of more substance and consequence tomorrow, when my brain isn't a buzzing hive of ridiculous chaos.

-Scotty

PS - I want to have Asian babies. I need a beautiful Asian lady (who's indigenous beauty will offset my pale Irish carcass) to procreate with just so I can have these stupidly cute children below.
I will dress them up and pet them and call them George.
San.
George-san.