When I was a kid all I wanted to be was Han Solo.
He was, by and far, the coolest. He got to fly all through hyperspace (which was nothing like dusting crops) chill with a huge walking carpet and offer snide one-liners to princesses. I mean, really, how could you get any cooler?
As I got older I realized Luke was kinda cool but I think this is because I was jealous of his Jedi skills. Upon further deliberation, I realized that these skills could prove useful.
And you could score decent swag with them.
Get into a tussle while hanging out at your local dive bar, some knuckle-dragger starts talking smack and all you would need to do is Force-choke the idiot. Then, after he was all drooly on the ground you could offer him your hand, make peace, and throw the Jedi mind trick on him to make him buy you the most expensive beer in the joint:
"Sorry about that Force choke, dude, but you were kind of being an ape."
"Screw you!"
"No, seriously friend, I really am sorry about the Force choke and, lets face it, you were totally copping a hominoidea attitude. I'll tell you what, why don't you buy me a liter of Imperial (rebel scum!) Pumking Ale and we'll call it even?"
"Get bent, shitbag."
There's nothing I like more than getting called a bag of feces, so queue the ole' wiggle of the fingers, "You will buy me a liter of Imperial (scum!) Pumking Ale," and blam, Jedi mind trick.
"I will buy you a liter of Imperial Pumking Ale," says mouth-breather.
"Thank you, puddin' pants, much appreciated. Now hurry to the toilet in the mens restroom and bob for apples." Pat him condescendingly on the head like a retarded shitzu, retrieve your new delicious beverage and, voila, a keen night was had by all.
See? I'd be an excellent Jedi.
And this has nothing to do with Han Solo, punkin beers or scum, but it makes me happy:
He was, by and far, the coolest. He got to fly all through hyperspace (which was nothing like dusting crops) chill with a huge walking carpet and offer snide one-liners to princesses. I mean, really, how could you get any cooler?
As I got older I realized Luke was kinda cool but I think this is because I was jealous of his Jedi skills. Upon further deliberation, I realized that these skills could prove useful.
And you could score decent swag with them.
Get into a tussle while hanging out at your local dive bar, some knuckle-dragger starts talking smack and all you would need to do is Force-choke the idiot. Then, after he was all drooly on the ground you could offer him your hand, make peace, and throw the Jedi mind trick on him to make him buy you the most expensive beer in the joint:
"Sorry about that Force choke, dude, but you were kind of being an ape."
"Screw you!"
"No, seriously friend, I really am sorry about the Force choke and, lets face it, you were totally copping a hominoidea attitude. I'll tell you what, why don't you buy me a liter of Imperial (rebel scum!) Pumking Ale and we'll call it even?"
"Get bent, shitbag."
There's nothing I like more than getting called a bag of feces, so queue the ole' wiggle of the fingers, "You will buy me a liter of Imperial (scum!) Pumking Ale," and blam, Jedi mind trick.
"I will buy you a liter of Imperial Pumking Ale," says mouth-breather.
"Thank you, puddin' pants, much appreciated. Now hurry to the toilet in the mens restroom and bob for apples." Pat him condescendingly on the head like a retarded shitzu, retrieve your new delicious beverage and, voila, a keen night was had by all.
See? I'd be an excellent Jedi.
And this has nothing to do with Han Solo, punkin beers or scum, but it makes me happy:
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Alsooo, little side note. Your freckles are super cute