I've recently de-friended or rather unfriended someone I've known online and on the phone for nearly five years. I simply feel as though I've out grown the friendship. I've grown increasingly frustrated with her self-centeredness. But there is some complication to all this. I just stopped answering the phone, responding to her emails, removed her from myspace and deleted AIM account from my buddylist. It's...
Read More

work, School, nap, work, school, nap, work, school, nap, work, school, nap,work,work on projects at school, nap, work, work on projects at school, nap, nap, stress about not working on project that is due tomorrow, nap, stress, nap, stress, nap, work on project, nap, lather rinse repeat, ad naseum/infinitum.

There's some small amounts of socializing mixed in there. And probably more stress about not working...
Read More

At some point you begin to realize that everything you've been holding up so high to worship and everything you've hidden your eyes from in fear are merely illusions. Right now, that's a dark thought that should be a glorious unveiling of truth. I feel sad, all alone, but I am not alone. Without all of these illusions, the universe is way fucking bigger and...
Read More

Yesterday, after figure drawing class from 6-8:30pm, I stay at school to continue work on a printmaking assignment that is very laborious, which was supposedly due today. I wasn't slacking. I simply push myself with every assignment do something that stretches me abilities and my imagination. I do WAY x10 more than is required. I worked all through the night, through class from 2-5. That's...
Read More

This lyric from MM sums up my week:

"Your world was killing me... The nervous system's down I can never get out of here I don't want to just float in fear A dead astronaut in space."

oh, it is soooo good to be back!! I have many, many, many many, ...,many sets to catch up on!

Not going anywhere for a least a year.

I've been wrapped up in art classes at UNCP. I am taking intro to printmaking and figure drawing. I got ATAXIA a job as the nude model for the figure drawing class. She has been an excellent...
Read More

I am going gray for a while. I'll be back I am sure. I just haven't been all that interested in SG lately. If you don't know me outside of SG. You can get to know me at myspace.com/manipulationdevice or at manipulationdevice@yahoo.com.

I'll miss the nakedness, the conversation, and your friendship. Take care.

of all such moments

The struggle grows from the ripening of wounds unattended
bitter are the fruits, the seed designed to travel
on the passage of those only affected by their proximity to pain
as a stars light emanates outward from within
our deaths coalesce in the surrounding darkness
receding at the rate of lights procession
forever dancing through fields of vacuous play
across the...
Read More

Today I laughed a lot. I spent time with people that I often feel that I have nothing in common with. Regardless of those supposed differences we seem to get along quite well. I also judged a lot. I made fun of people. Reflecting on the things that I singled them out for, I can see that actually I do the same things. I ridiculed...
Read More

hungry ghost (denial of intention)

gaze not upon me
do not set eyes upon my shadow
cast me far from thine visions
peer not into the periphery
for I cannot bare being born witness to
as I am ashamed of my every breath
for even it is taken for granted
I do not abide its gift with my attention
I gaup and gulp it into...
Read More