zef

I've recently de-friended or rather unfriended someone I've known online and on the phone for nearly five years. I simply feel as though I've out grown the friendship. I've grown increasingly frustrated with her self-centeredness. But there is some complication to all this. I just stopped answering the phone, responding to her emails, removed her from myspace and deleted AIM account from my buddylist. It's been quite liberating. I feel intensely free and without obligation to deal with her borderline personality issues. I do feel some hesitation as she calls constantly, her messages seem pathetically sad. I am certain they will eventually tend toward the depraved and erratic. I can't give in. It's just too draining. If I felt 100% appreciated, which she does express, but only when she sticks her head up for air after many days of manic behavior. Sometimes, it seems my purpose was to talk to her until her sleeping meds kicked in so she could sleep without being overrun by thoughts. I suppose I feel a bit weird about not having explained my departure. She's just flailing about trying to understand it all. It almost seems cruel.

My exgf called again. Again, I didn't answer. But as I expected she left a message expressing an interesting in getting her stuff. It's been two years!!!! I still haven't ditched her stuff, though I did toss some clothes. I am either the nicest guy in the universe or the biggest dumbass. I really had decided to toss it all then never speak to her again. There is no point in keeping contact. I am not who I was when she and I were together. I don't relate to her anymore, hell that ended during the relationship. Anyway, she wants to schedule a time so she and her new husband can drive to NC for the weekend to pick up her stuff. I still haven't responded. Any thoughts?

I am considering this defriending with some other online friends and an SG (members and girls) or two. I've begun to feel more like a placated fanboy than a friend. If I can't be honest and real friends with someone, what's the point? One in particular hasn't been the same since last year, sometime after she started seeing someone, response time dropped and communications centered around her boredness. Am I entertainment or a friend? It's sad really, she seemed so cool. ;(

I am falling asleep where I sit. Goodnight!