I am feeling increasingly removed from my sense of self and at the same time accutely more aware that my previous sense of self was a complete sham.
My niece is here. I've been focusing a great deal of attention upon her and the HBO series SIX FEET UNDER seasons 1 and 2 (3-5 to follow). I've been buying more art supplies than using them. I've had a couple of excellent new ideas, which I have no idea how to achieve and ressurected a couple ideas that I had let sit in a sealed the cave longer than I had expected. I can only hope to form a mythos around them so they might one day be worshipped as gospels of a true visionary. Did I mention that part of previous sense of self tended toward the messiah complex/gradios extremes of my future and present and past greatness? Well, it did and still does. I am fucking awesome.
really. no shit. totally and completely.
Fuck you, I am, too.
am too, ad infinitum.
on the way to greatness, we learn to walk:
find the words
find the pain
find the answers
re-arrange
so I am not stuck playing this game
give back the questions
all the yearning
all the learning
the changes and adapations
the hesitations and deprivations
lay waste to the derivations
of my condescending trust
Build mountains
on my insecurities
masked as faithful absurdities
held onto for far too long
so sizable
they're recognizable
deformed by so much thought
considered and reconsidered
altered and forgotten
resurrected, kicked ahead like a stone
tumble on, live and pretend
kick again,
keep kicking until you reach the end
--
my patience devoured by time
a concept seemingly greater than my life
how far reaching an idea
what's bigger a blackhole
or the universe?
everything or nothing
unanswerable questions
leading towards silent contemplation
\\still not simple enough
waronmyignorance womi.
My niece is here. I've been focusing a great deal of attention upon her and the HBO series SIX FEET UNDER seasons 1 and 2 (3-5 to follow). I've been buying more art supplies than using them. I've had a couple of excellent new ideas, which I have no idea how to achieve and ressurected a couple ideas that I had let sit in a sealed the cave longer than I had expected. I can only hope to form a mythos around them so they might one day be worshipped as gospels of a true visionary. Did I mention that part of previous sense of self tended toward the messiah complex/gradios extremes of my future and present and past greatness? Well, it did and still does. I am fucking awesome.
really. no shit. totally and completely.
Fuck you, I am, too.
am too, ad infinitum.
on the way to greatness, we learn to walk:
find the words
find the pain
find the answers
re-arrange
so I am not stuck playing this game
give back the questions
all the yearning
all the learning
the changes and adapations
the hesitations and deprivations
lay waste to the derivations
of my condescending trust
Build mountains
on my insecurities
masked as faithful absurdities
held onto for far too long
so sizable
they're recognizable
deformed by so much thought
considered and reconsidered
altered and forgotten
resurrected, kicked ahead like a stone
tumble on, live and pretend
kick again,
keep kicking until you reach the end
--
my patience devoured by time
a concept seemingly greater than my life
how far reaching an idea
what's bigger a blackhole
or the universe?
everything or nothing
unanswerable questions
leading towards silent contemplation
\\still not simple enough
waronmyignorance womi.
As far as Ani goes . . . As far as I'm concerned, she can do pretty much whatever she likes--fake bootlegs included. Ani almost always remains entirely above reproach in my eyes.
(Basically, I think part of the bootleg thing is that she'd already released two live double-discs--but she's too fucking amazing live not to record and release more.)