so last week I turned in (very last minute, like 15 minutes before the campus rec event began) the bowling ball and pin that they paid me to paint. not an easy medium to paint on. I don't recommend it. I wasn't pleased with the results at all.
but here you go...
I should have made the thinkness of the "Shell" much deeper. and if I had given myself more time, I would have done more work on the cracks to make them seem more realistic. The face is from a 3D ultrasound in carlyjean's journal entry from a couple weeks ago. It's really hard to see the three dimensionalness of the painting in the picture of a round surface. It all just seems flat.
The pin front
Back.
I forgot to take pictures of the sides. My instructor has yet to return some of the drawings I did in my design class. but when those arrive, I'll post them promptly for your insults and cruelty.
April 8th:
appended: because I am lost and lonely
SPOILERS! (Click to view)And I scream
ARE YOU LISTENING?
DID YOU HEAR ME SAY i love you
because I do
why did you have to leave
I promise I would have gotten around to
being the person, I said I could be
the painting of the man
glowing eternally
in the light of all my creations
healing myself and nations
with the wisdom in my hands
And I'd be thin, like air and all your dreams
and we'd make love
fuck like broken records
constantly, without fail
you would know that I love you
with each breath that I breathe
I am broken without you
without me, I've always been
shattered and disabled
but with you I was piecing myself
back together again.
are you lonely?
you know I am.
I feel you walking away
with that look in your eyes
like i betrayed
the god you knew I could be
if only I would have allowed myself to see
the jewel in your eye
that defined your love for me
I would have been
recreated in the light
damn, I feel so stupid
for just sitting there every night
while you lived your life
closer to your dreams
closer to yourself
and further away from me
those subtle wishes
that I would come along
but I just sat there, watching you sign your favorite song
How can i turn this around, so it stops hurting
how I can I say your name and not die
just little bit more
You were everything, the passion and fury
to do everything my heart devoted, until I lost control
of who saw me to be
the truth washed over
shame and misery
all that really lurks beneath my unsmiling face
it doesn't go away
it just becomes who you are
and then it becomes the world you know
and then the world stops caring
if you are there or if you show
who you are, it doesn't in believe you anymore
it has seen you fail, by not trying at all
so sad and stupid, shiftless and lost
but you are wrong
I will not be forgotten
I am breaking down a wall
that I never realized I was building
I'll walk right through it
show you the magic in my heart
and then you decide
if you love me anymore
----
My ex-girlfriend is getting married next week. The relationship, which lasted four years failed for numerous reasons. I thought she was forever, when I was opening up my soul and I showed her all the pain, so I could heal. But that was up to me, I was naive enough to think that love heals all. but it doesn't. It takes you and no one else. if you want to be, the someone smiling, over all that you survey, all that you've conquered on your final day on this earth, turn around keep walking keeping doing, lust for the unknown, discover everything, never cease to undefine the world you hold inside, because it just keeps getting bigger the more you allow in. And she's gone. And it's not that I want her back. It's me, that I miss. I want the person I thought I could be, when I was with her to know that I am still here. I want me to be, everything I imagine, beyond that through the unimaginable from where nothing exists but everything persists in becoming.
